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20 Years 20 Lessons - Lesson 11 - One Real Friend is Better Than 20 Fake Ones

Do you know the difference between an acquaintance and a true friend? Or maybe you’ve had to find out the hard way the difference between a “fake” friend and someone who is genuinely vested in you ...not what you can give them. As a person that was addicted to everyone else’s approval I had a hard time discerning between all of the above. I was so busy trying to get everyone to like me that I failed to notice that there were some who were just pretending to like me for their own personal gain. Or truth be known...some people just like to see others hurt. Learning how to discern between good people and bad people (to be blunt) was not easy. Sometimes good people can act bad and sometimes bad people come across as good...so confusing...and how can we tell the difference??? I’m still not sure I’ve got this down pat but I prayed a long time ago for the gift of discernment. I believe God answered my prayer and it has served me well over the years. Taken from the book of 1 John and speci

This IS 40

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Have you ever just sat back and taken a moment to truly reflect on your life...and make a conscious effort to focus on all of the wonderful treasures it holds? If not- I highly recommend it. It does the soul good. Taking my own advice today...I am beyond overwhelmed...to the point of tears, at this incredible life I’ve been given. Turning 40 (which is ancient to some...haha...and still a Spring Chicken to others) has really made me stop, reflect and appreciate my blessings. In my reflections, I also find myself praising and thanking God, for creating me, and allowing me to live this life that I love so much. (Some days more than others...) As I look in the mirror at the lines forming around my eyes and forehead I see 40 years of smiling and laughing...the gray hair peeking through reminds me of the scripture Proverbs 16:31...it is my crown of glory. My family always did call me a princess! With age comes wisdom and I’m finally starting to feel smart! I finally feel like a grown up

20 Years 20 Lessons - Lesson 10 - Find the Funny

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The bible tells us in Proverbs 17:22   “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” I agree wholeheartedly. Take a moment and smile. Doesn’t it just automatically change your perception - even for a moment. Yes! It does. Science has actually proven that the mere act of smiling (even when forced) can lift your mood, lower your stress levels, boost your immune system and possibly even prolong your life. Science didn’t even know it was proving the bible correct...but it did! ( Here is a cool article about it. ) I have a very good friend that I confide in. She is the best - She is not judgmental, a great listener and she has a heart to really help others. She has become my sounding board over the years. She does not attend the same church as I do so therefore I can vent (my ministry frustrations) to her and she has absolutely no clue as to what I’m referring. Her advice always starts with, “Find the funny if you can”. It is the best advice ever! God ins

20 Years 20 Lessons - Lesson 9 - Respect is Earned

Lesson 9 - Respect is earned when given. This is something that I was taught as a young child and it has really stuck with me throughout my life. It was also a lesson that I learned in ministry. We are commanded to love everyone but what about respect? Where does that fall into play? I think the two go hand in hand.  The short definition of respect means to regard someone as being worthy of admiration because of good qualities. There are many scriptures that tell us how to be respectful but it is up to us to apply them to our life and live them day to day. Working in ministry for many years I have seen people come and go and one of their biggest complaints when leaving was that they didn’t get the respect they felt like they deserved. Respect is something that is earned and by earned I mean showing others that you respect them by living the word of God before them. In return you will gain their respect. I had a family member that preached respect on the daily for years. Th

20 Years 20 Lessons - Lesson 8 - Let Go - Let God

I think one of the absolute hardest things we have to do in life - is let go and let God. We can claim to have great big faith...faith that can move mountains...faith that can heal the sick, faith that can overcome anything but in reality when we are pushed to the test we don't always move those mountains with our faith - sometimes we go around that mountain a few times. Lesson 8 - Sometimes you have to let go of something precious in order to receive something even more precious from God. We have to let go and let God. When we are truly ready to let go of the sin in our life we find ourselves almost running to the altar to give it all to God. We don’t want the bondage holding us back anymore. We confess our ugliest self to God and press forward to the best of our ability to receive the healing, the deliverance and the blessings that He has for us. But what about the 'good' things that we have to let go of in order to receive even better things??? We can barely understa

20 Years 20 Lessons - Lesson 7 - Life Comes From Death

Ephesians 2:4-5 But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, 5 made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved. There are a lot of examples in the bible demonstrating how life can come from death. However for the sake of keeping this blog post short and simple I’m only going to highlight one example. When we become born again we die a spiritual death. This simply means we believe the bible when it says we were born into sin and the only way to be cleansed from that sin is to accept Jesus’ death on the cross as the payment for our sin. (see Psalm 51:5; Romans 5:12) It also means we believe that by accepting Jesus’ death on the cross for those sins that we are made new in Him. We are given a new life after we die to sin. It’s spiritual. I remember when God was dealing with my heart about what a sinner I had been it felt like I was dying. I was miserable. I couldn’t imagine going on with my life the way it was

20 Years 20 Lessons - Lesson 6 - You Can Have Peace

Peace is a word that is so often taken for granted. You hear people say they would love to see peace and harmony in the world, in our schools in our homes yet they always attach a stipulation to it. It usually sounds something like this “If my husband would just listen to me then we could have peace in our home.” “If the terrorists would just stop killing people then we could have peace in our world.” “If my kids would behave then we could have peace and quiet.” “If they would just see it my way then I could finally have some peace.” If...if...if… Sound familiar? This has been an extremely difficult lesson to learn and one the I need to be reminded of from time to time. (Okay...all the time!) The lesson - My peace is not dependent on anyone or anything apart from my relationship with God. We can have peace in the midst of a financial battle. We can have peace when the spouse, kids, co-workers act up. We can have peace when the world around us is under attack. We can have peace w

20 Years 20 Lessons - Lesson 5 - Pride Makes You Ugly on the Outside

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If you look up Google’s definition of pride it seems like a harmless characteristic to possess. It simply states that pride is a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired. What do you think? It doesn’t seem so bad so does it? However our culture has taken pride to an entirely new level. Phrases like “I’m doing me”  are meant to inspire when really they lead you down the wrong path. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines pride as inordinate self-esteem and conceit. Having self pride, pride in our things or even pride in others is pride misplaced. Psalm 10:4 says this “In his pride the wicked man does not seek him; in all his thoughts there is no room for God.” In your daily thoughts what are you focusing on? Are you thinking of your net worth, your accomplishments, your children’s accomplishments or are you thinking about the

20 Years 20 Lessons - Lesson 4 - Forgiveness is for You

I don’t think much else compares to crucifying the flesh like forgiving someone you “think” does not deserve to be forgiven. I know I am not the only one that has been left feeling paralyzed after being done wrong by someone else. Whether it was being betrayed, assaulted, verbally abused, stabbed in the back or something worse - we are still expected to forgive. The bible says so. How? Honestly knowing the how to doesn’t make forgiving any easier. I don’t think Jesus’ death on the cross was easy for Him simply because it was the only way we could all receive forgiveness of our sins. It was something that needed to be done. Pay attention...it needed to be done. Jesus didn’t have to. We don’t have to forgive. We need to forgive. Maybe...just maybe...God instructs us in His Word to forgive or we cannot be forgiven so we can grasp - how ever so slight - the brutal truth of what Jesus did for us. I have been in a place of such anger - an anger that came from a result of betrayal - tha

20 Years 20 Lessons - Lesson 3 - You Don't Have to Like 'em to Love 'em

Did you know that you don't have to like someone in order to love them? This has been the absolute greatest revelation in my 20 years of ministry. When I finally understood that I could show love without feeling love it was like coming up for air after holding my breath underwater for a very….very….very long time! Feelings are fickle. They change like the wind, or with your hormones or when you don't get your way. They cannot be trusted with something as important as loving someone. God knew this would be something that would be difficult for us to grasp so He made sure to define it in the bible for us.  1 Corinthians 13 is a popular chapter in the bible. We hear it at weddings and on Valentine's Day but this scripture is so much more than just a staple for celebrations. It is the definition of love. I don't know about you but I want to be loved daily not just on special occasions. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it i

20 Years 20 Lessons - Lesson 2 - Practice Having Faith

Just like when you go to put your bum in that random chair at your favorite restaurant trusting you won’t fall flat on your bum in the middle of the floor humiliating yourself and whoever you are with...you have to put your faith in God and trust you have put it in the right place and He won’t let you fall. I know...I know...easier said than done...BUT when you look at the amount of faith you put in that piece of wood holding you 2 feet off the ground...doesn’t it make more sense to put even more faith in the ONE that created you??? Imagine that your current trust issue is your bum...stay with me...and the chair is God. Just take that issue and plop it right down on the Lord and leave it there. Boom! If it helps write it down on a sticky note and then stick it to the chair...not the restaurant chair (that’s weird) but a chair in your home. As it sits there resting in place you can imagine putting your faith in God and know that it is resting right where it is supposed to be. Star

20 Years 20 Lessons - Lesson 1 - Constructive Criticism

I just love it when I correct my kids and I get that teenage eye roll with a nostril flared deep throated grunt in return. It makes me want to slap them. Same goes with adults! I’m trying to help you here...LOL… Being a minister has its ups but it also has its downs and giving correction to someone who desperately needs it but refuses to accept it...is a major downer! MAJOR! Excuse me...didn’t you come to me for help? Didn’t you ask for my advice? Weren’t you inspired by my message based off of how God saved my marriage by telling me I was controlling, manipulative and selfish? Oh you were? But you were inspired for me...none of that rang true in your current situation...Oh I see… (insert my eye roll with loud throat grunt).  Let me be honest. If you are troubled in an area of your life and you are seeking help...any kind of help...then be open to receive it ~ in whichEVER form God chooses to send it to you! It might hurt, it might be hard to hear, it might mean making some ne

The Best is Yet to Come

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I think I am finally beginning to understand what Paul meant when he said, “I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. (Philippians 4:11-13) ~ It has been a tough lesson to go through but I can honestly say “Okay, God I’m good...I get it...let’s move on to the next one...where I’m back at the content with plenty stage”. Haha! Oh..if it only worked that way. I miss the days of blogging about all of my exciting Joyce Meyer trips where I got to meet her, Matt Redman, had front row seats and I felt like my picture was on God’s refrigerator...ya know where He puts His favorites. But these last few months have been...well let’s just say...did God take my picture down and thr

Are You Burdened?

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Have you ever just woke up in a bad mood or feeling sad? There isn’t an explanation for it, in fact things seem to be going okay, and then out of nowhere you feel like you are carrying the heaviest burden ever. You can’t shake it. You may say a quick prayer asking God to take it from you or maybe you try to push passed it and get on with your day. It doesn’t matter what you do the burden is still there. As the day goes on it gets heavier and heavier to the point you can’t function like you need to...productively. When we are walking with God we have to remember that He deals with us in the spiritual as well as the physical. Things are not always as they seem and sometimes the burden isn’t for us it is for a friend or loved one. That is why the quick little prayer asking God to take it from us didn’t work because it isn’t about us...just the fact that God is using us to help out someone else in the moment. I went into the church office the other day to take care of some paperwork. I

But I Don't Want To

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Have you ever had to do something that you absolutely did not want to do? Maybe it was tell a friend the truth when you knew it would hurt their feelings? Maybe it was disciplining your child after a display of horrible behavior. Perhaps you were let go from a job and had to go find a new one. Or maybe where you are simply isn’t where God wants you to be and He is trying to lead you to the Promised Land. There isn’t any doubt that at least one point in your life, and probably more than once, you are going to have to do something that you really... really…really don’t want to do. Our hesitation to do something that we know we need to do but do not want to do can stem from a lot of different things. Pride, laziness, fear and feelings that sometimes can’t be identified; you just know you aren’t feeling it. What do we do when we know the task at hand is going to be beneficial in the long run but sucks lemons at the current moment?  If you are anything like me you might, cry, kick, scream

Encouragement From Past Trials

From time to time I go back and reread old posts that I’ve written. It helps to encourage me in the areas that I have overcome in my life. It shows me what God has brought me through and then I am reminded that He will continue to get me through every new struggle, trial and test.  I always encourage others to keep a journal of their life. You will get so much inspiration from reading the things God has done for you throughout your life and then you will gain strength from those times to get you through the current situation or test. This is what has happened for me. I felt lead to write a follow up to “ The Harsh Judgement of Others ” because I am currently in another tough spot. But seeing how God intervened for me then encourages me to know that He will do it again. I wrote that blog during a heart wrenching season in my life. I was conflicted on whether or not to continue caring for my grandmother that lived with me. She has dementia, kidney failure and can no longer walk. It was

Can God Use My Sin to Bring About Good?

Guess what? Your sin is not a secret to God. Every struggle, every battle, every time you feel overcome by temptation; God sees you and loves you. If you are anything like me then you’ve heard over and over again, God can’t bless a mess. I’m here to tell you that is exactly what He does.  Where you are right now in your life is not a big surprise to the One who created you. Long before you were conceived God knew this moment in your life would be this moment in your life. He also knows the next decision you will make. Do you? Probably not but God does. That is one of the mysterious beauties of life. Regardless of the path you will choose to go down God is already there. Of course His desire is that you choose Him and His ways in all things but regardless of whether we do or not, when we belong to Him, He is still there cheering us on when faced with our next decision. I remember the season when I came back to God after suffering from a deep depression. I desperately wanted to please

I Have a Confession

Gulp! Time to come clean. I have a confession to make. I mean the bible says in James 5:16 “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.” And if confession leads to righteousness and that leads to powerful and effective prayer then who wouldn’t want to confess?!? So here goes. ~ I spent many years being fake. Man that feels good! I love getting stuff off of my chest. I spent the first part of my Christian walk convincing everyone that I had the perfect little life, with the perfect little family and that God answered all of my prayers in a nice timely fashion. While in the meantime I was buried in debt, fighting with my husband and crying daily in my pillow. It was a tough season. But I had been taught to “speak those things that are not as though they were”. There is some truth to this but there is a correct way to do it and a very wrong way to do it. I was doing it all wrong.

The Struggle is Part of the Story

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The struggle is part of the story. I was searching for scriptures about peace and this little meme popped up and jumped off the screen at me. I had to stop what I was doing and write my thought train down. However my mind is going faster than I can type. Here is an attempt to keep up. Why are movies good? There is an opening and an introduction to all of the characters and what the story is going to be about. Then the struggle begins. We watch these characters that we’ve grown to love and sometimes hate fight their way through a situation. By the end of the movie everything has resolved itself….for now. Lightbulb! If there was just a beginning and an end we wouldn’t stay interested very long. We wouldn’t feel the sense of peace, hope and excitement that we usually feel at the end of the movie when everything has worked itself out. (I know there is always an exception.) We wouldn’t have learned anything. How to deal, cope, endure, overcome and so much more. Life. Every new situ

How Long are You Willing to Wait for Your Dreams to Come True?

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Have you ever given up on a dream and then regretted it tremendously? Have you ever been up for a promotion at work and because they kept putting you off you just quit and started over some place else? Have you given up on a marriage you really wanted to work? Do you have a prodigal son or daughter that you feel will never return home? How long do we wait for the outcome we so desperately want? What do we do while we are waiting? How do we know if our dreams will ever really come true? Wow! I wish I had the answers to some of these questions. My life would have gone a lot differently if I had. What is that old saying… “better late than never”. I must agree. Wouldn’t you rather win the lottery at some point in your life than never win at all? Well, this isn’t about the lottery but I do have a testimony to share that I pray brings you some encouragement. About 15 years ago when I was about six years into my walk with God I had a random minister prophecy television ministry over me. It