20 Years 20 Lessons - Lesson 11 - One Real Friend is Better Than 20 Fake Ones
Do you know the difference between an acquaintance and a true friend? Or maybe you’ve had to find out the hard way the difference between a “fake” friend and someone who is genuinely vested in you...not what you can give them.
As a person that was addicted to everyone else’s approval I had a hard time discerning between all of the above. I was so busy trying to get everyone to like me that I failed to notice that there were some who were just pretending to like me for their own personal gain. Or truth be known...some people just like to see others hurt.
Learning how to discern between good people and bad people (to be blunt) was not easy. Sometimes good people can act bad and sometimes bad people come across as good...so confusing...and how can we tell the difference??? I’m still not sure I’ve got this down pat but I prayed a long time ago for the gift of discernment. I believe God answered my prayer and it has served me well over the years. Taken from the book of 1 John and specifically this scripture.
1 John 4:1 - Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.
My prayer: Dear Lord, I ask for the gift of discernment according to the book of 1 John. Help me to know whom you’ve sent into my life for the completion of your plan and purpose for my life and those that I simply need to prayer for and not let into my inner circle. In Jesus Name, Amen.
It has been that simple. I have very few sincere friends but I treasure them. They are worth more than gold to me. Those that have let me down and proven to be fake and not true...I just pray for them. But since praying this prayer God has truly given me a sense of knowing the difference before I let people get too close. I have learned we can love people without liking them and we can forgive anyone through the power of Christ. This is not to be confused with letting them back into your inner circle. God instructs us to guard our hearts and minds. (see Proverbs 4:23; Romans 12:2)
I’ve learned a true friend will not talk down to you. They will be able to encourage you, help you and even correct you with the love of God. You will never leave the presence of a true friend feeling condemned. God knows this...and I firmly believe that is why He put Proverbs 18:24 in the bible.
God is that friend that will stick closer than a brother. Family may share blood but God created us and sent His own blood to die for us...He loves us unconditionally and He will continually show us throughout our entire lives - into eternity - just how much He loves us.
As I started moving forward in the calling God had on my life my “real” friends showed themselves. They encouraged me, prayed for me and helped me. Then there were those that vanished like vapor...or tried to tell me my plans were too big and I needed to dream smaller. I also found out there were those gossiping about me. It hurt. However, through God’s Word I was reminded to pray for them and move on. Proverbs 16:28 - A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.
God instructs us to protect our heart. Therefore we have to watch who we let in. We can still be a light for God shining in the midst/presence of darkness...but we don’t have to get intimate with it. I have learned I can be social, polite, engaging and acquainted with many - but true genuine friends are very rare. If you have one true genuine friend then you are truly blessed. Hold onto them and nurture those friendships. When someone proves to be false...cut them loose and move on. Pray for them...but remember - God never intended for you to be a doormat!
As a person that was addicted to everyone else’s approval I had a hard time discerning between all of the above. I was so busy trying to get everyone to like me that I failed to notice that there were some who were just pretending to like me for their own personal gain. Or truth be known...some people just like to see others hurt.
Learning how to discern between good people and bad people (to be blunt) was not easy. Sometimes good people can act bad and sometimes bad people come across as good...so confusing...and how can we tell the difference??? I’m still not sure I’ve got this down pat but I prayed a long time ago for the gift of discernment. I believe God answered my prayer and it has served me well over the years. Taken from the book of 1 John and specifically this scripture.
1 John 4:1 - Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world.
My prayer: Dear Lord, I ask for the gift of discernment according to the book of 1 John. Help me to know whom you’ve sent into my life for the completion of your plan and purpose for my life and those that I simply need to prayer for and not let into my inner circle. In Jesus Name, Amen.
It has been that simple. I have very few sincere friends but I treasure them. They are worth more than gold to me. Those that have let me down and proven to be fake and not true...I just pray for them. But since praying this prayer God has truly given me a sense of knowing the difference before I let people get too close. I have learned we can love people without liking them and we can forgive anyone through the power of Christ. This is not to be confused with letting them back into your inner circle. God instructs us to guard our hearts and minds. (see Proverbs 4:23; Romans 12:2)
I’ve learned a true friend will not talk down to you. They will be able to encourage you, help you and even correct you with the love of God. You will never leave the presence of a true friend feeling condemned. God knows this...and I firmly believe that is why He put Proverbs 18:24 in the bible.
“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”
God is that friend that will stick closer than a brother. Family may share blood but God created us and sent His own blood to die for us...He loves us unconditionally and He will continually show us throughout our entire lives - into eternity - just how much He loves us.
As I started moving forward in the calling God had on my life my “real” friends showed themselves. They encouraged me, prayed for me and helped me. Then there were those that vanished like vapor...or tried to tell me my plans were too big and I needed to dream smaller. I also found out there were those gossiping about me. It hurt. However, through God’s Word I was reminded to pray for them and move on. Proverbs 16:28 - A perverse person stirs up conflict, and a gossip separates close friends.
God instructs us to protect our heart. Therefore we have to watch who we let in. We can still be a light for God shining in the midst/presence of darkness...but we don’t have to get intimate with it. I have learned I can be social, polite, engaging and acquainted with many - but true genuine friends are very rare. If you have one true genuine friend then you are truly blessed. Hold onto them and nurture those friendships. When someone proves to be false...cut them loose and move on. Pray for them...but remember - God never intended for you to be a doormat!
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