20 Years 20 Lessons - Lesson 3 - You Don't Have to Like 'em to Love 'em
Did you know that you don't have to like someone in order to love them? This has been the absolute greatest revelation in my 20 years of ministry. When I finally understood that I could show love without feeling love it was like coming up for air after holding my breath underwater for a very….very….very long time!
Feelings are fickle. They change like the wind, or with your hormones or when you don't get your way. They cannot be trusted with something as important as loving someone. God knew this would be something that would be difficult for us to grasp so He made sure to define it in the bible for us.
1 Corinthians 13 is a popular chapter in the bible. We hear it at weddings and on Valentine's Day but this scripture is so much more than just a staple for celebrations. It is the definition of love. I don't know about you but I want to be loved daily not just on special occasions.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Pay very close attention. I don't see the word 'like' anywhere in that definition. I don’t have to like you to love you. I know it sounds weird...but let’s just face it...there are some people our personalities clash with no matter how hard we try to like them. It just ain’t happening...but then there are some (like my hubby) I can spend my entire life with and never get too much of him. But - there are still days I don’t like him. Haha! (shhh…)
I made a commitment to him - to love, honor and cherish him all the days of my life. (Notice I didn’t say like.) However because of the commitment I made to him on our wedding day I can push passed those fickle feelings of dislike when they come up and make a choice to show my love through my actions. I do not disrespect him or act unkindly. I don’t push to get my way by means of manipulation when we are disagreeing and I bite my tongue if I have to.
I use this same concept in my everyday life with all kinds of different people. I'd like to say I've totally mastered this but I haven't. I'm a work in progress. When someone does something I don’t like or I’m dealing with a person I don’t particularly like, I tell myself that this is God’s child and He loves them and He’s commanded me to love them. When we accept Christ as our Lord and Savior we are also accepting the bible as our instruction book for life. We should strive to live by it daily, including, we do not have to like people in order for us to behave the way God instructs us to, towards them. I can speak kindly, show respect and help them if they are in need and pray for them. Someone else’s actions and words do not dictate my own. I have free will to say and do as I please. I choose to obey the Lord.
When we think about the greatest action of love in history it is Jesus willingly going to the cross to die for our sins. The bible says while we were yet sinners He died for us. Jesus is our example. If He was willing to go to the cross for us then we should be willing to be a little more patient with those we don't like. It is another way for us to honor God and His sacrifice for us.
The bible also tells us that the Word will set us free. This has certainly been true for me and understanding that love is an action word and not a feeling. We can honor these scriptures and the Lord by choosing to be obedient even if we aren't 'feeling' it.
I hope this will encourage you to look at love a little differently and prayerfully set you free in that you don't have to like everybody.
John 3:16 (ESV) “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
I’m sure Jesus didn’t like the people nailing him to the cross...but He loved them.
Feelings are fickle. They change like the wind, or with your hormones or when you don't get your way. They cannot be trusted with something as important as loving someone. God knew this would be something that would be difficult for us to grasp so He made sure to define it in the bible for us.
1 Corinthians 13 is a popular chapter in the bible. We hear it at weddings and on Valentine's Day but this scripture is so much more than just a staple for celebrations. It is the definition of love. I don't know about you but I want to be loved daily not just on special occasions.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
4 Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant 5 or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; 6 it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. 7 Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Pay very close attention. I don't see the word 'like' anywhere in that definition. I don’t have to like you to love you. I know it sounds weird...but let’s just face it...there are some people our personalities clash with no matter how hard we try to like them. It just ain’t happening...but then there are some (like my hubby) I can spend my entire life with and never get too much of him. But - there are still days I don’t like him. Haha! (shhh…)
I made a commitment to him - to love, honor and cherish him all the days of my life. (Notice I didn’t say like.) However because of the commitment I made to him on our wedding day I can push passed those fickle feelings of dislike when they come up and make a choice to show my love through my actions. I do not disrespect him or act unkindly. I don’t push to get my way by means of manipulation when we are disagreeing and I bite my tongue if I have to.
I use this same concept in my everyday life with all kinds of different people. I'd like to say I've totally mastered this but I haven't. I'm a work in progress. When someone does something I don’t like or I’m dealing with a person I don’t particularly like, I tell myself that this is God’s child and He loves them and He’s commanded me to love them. When we accept Christ as our Lord and Savior we are also accepting the bible as our instruction book for life. We should strive to live by it daily, including, we do not have to like people in order for us to behave the way God instructs us to, towards them. I can speak kindly, show respect and help them if they are in need and pray for them. Someone else’s actions and words do not dictate my own. I have free will to say and do as I please. I choose to obey the Lord.
When we think about the greatest action of love in history it is Jesus willingly going to the cross to die for our sins. The bible says while we were yet sinners He died for us. Jesus is our example. If He was willing to go to the cross for us then we should be willing to be a little more patient with those we don't like. It is another way for us to honor God and His sacrifice for us.
The bible also tells us that the Word will set us free. This has certainly been true for me and understanding that love is an action word and not a feeling. We can honor these scriptures and the Lord by choosing to be obedient even if we aren't 'feeling' it.
I hope this will encourage you to look at love a little differently and prayerfully set you free in that you don't have to like everybody.
John 3:16 (ESV) “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.
I’m sure Jesus didn’t like the people nailing him to the cross...but He loved them.
Comments
Post a Comment