Don't Give Up

Inhale... exhale.... inhale.... exhale - This is the current theme of my life. I'm taking it d ay by day and breath by breath. It's been long enough since my divorce, that I probably shouldn't reference it anymore... however there is not a set time on trauma recovery. I have healed (mostly), my ex and I are in a good place, my kids are doing amazing and I'm moving forward with my life. The most difficult thing that I face now - is myself. When I look in the mirror, I see the demons that I've allowed to speak to me for the last almost 4 years, and they are ugly. They say ugly things, try to get me to do ugly things - and - full transparency, some days they win. Throughout this long unexpected journey, I'd like to say, I did not lose my faith but I did take a path that went completely opposite of the one God had laid out so perfectly for me. As my story continues I am finding that the winding roads of what has felt like a never ending detour are leading me back t

Have you ever felt so frustrated with life that you just want to scream as loud as you can to the top of your lungs and then punch something as hard as you can - Yes, you have - because you are human. If you are currently there, then let's make a club. You know one of those funny named clubs we used to make in middle school that only a few people knew about. My 8th grade friends group made one and named it Family. We labeled everyone in the group as mom, dad, brother, sister, aunt, uncle and so on. It was ridiculous... but really we just wanted to make our crush the "dad" and us the "mom". If the boy didn't mind being the dad to the mom then we knew his crush was mutual. How silly! I'm giggling to myself now while thinking about how immature teens are and how communication hasn't changed much over the years. Instead of simply saying, "I like you", we try to do little things or drop little hints to figure out where we stand in our relationsh

Don't you hate it when someone posts something on social media that only gives you half of the story? They share a poem or a meme that you know is meant for someone to see and hopefully get the point they are trying to make without having to say it to them directly... only to leave the rest of us completely clueless as to what the heck is going on in their life. I apologize in advance... this blog is like those posts. Greetings my precious readers. Forgive my hiatus. I know I haven’t blogged in a while… and truth be known - I have a lot to blog about. Unfortunately, I’m torn between the rock and the hard place once again. I want to share what I want to share… but because I know my sharing will potentially hurt others - I cannot. It’s been a battle between this blog and myself ever since I opened my laptop in 2016. I’ve been told that my lack of sharing has made me come across shallow at times, stuck up and snobby. I guess that is the price I have to pay for protecting others. Findi

If you've heard a Taylor Swift song, are a single woman and are honest with yourself... then you can most definitely relate to Taylor's tell it like it is lyrics. I am one of those honest women... I remember when I first separated... I didn't tell anyone outside of my immediate family and my bestie. I was feeling embarrassed, ashamed, hurt and not ready to talk about the split. Lots of processes to go through after a tragedy... and one lie we tell ourselves - we have to keep up appearances. We don't - but we feel like we do... Anyway, I digress -  One Thursday night my unknowing work crew invited me out for some drinks after we closed. I accepted. We went to a local hang out to play some pool. On this particular night, it was Karaoke night. One of my co-workers, a fun loving, beautiful 20 something also happens to be a phenomenal singer... She and her Selena Gomez voice invited me to come sing Taylor Swift's "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together", on st

Ladies do you ever find yourself having a bad day and no matter what you try it just won't turn around? And I'm not talking about a bad hair day... I'm talking about from the time you wake up til the time you go to bed, if it could go wrong, it went wrong, bad day.  Bad days are part of life. We have good days and bad days and meh days and extraordinary days and everything in between days. We seem to handle the good days well and most of the bad days pretty well but then there are those days that just knock the wind out of you.  I won't bore you with my overly dramatic details of bad days... you can fill in the blank with your own worst day. Let's skip to the part where I commiserate with you... and send you some virtual ((hugs)) And even though the trigger of our horrendous day may not be the same, we do have this one thing in common, we just want to feel better!  Rocket Science... I know... but seriously for men - it is.  I used to make it so easy for my ex. I use

Day by day... minute by minute... one breath at a time. This has been my New Year's resolution to myself. With the way my life is going, I couldn't imagine committing myself to anything as crazy as losing 20lbs, buying a house, paying off all my debt or even checking off a fun thing on my bucket list. Don't get me wrong - I'm inspired by all of my friends getting up at 5am and hitting the gym, those committed to getting that promotion this year, planning that dream vacation - but for me - waking up, taking a shower and remembering to brush my teeth means I'm living my best life... LOL. Okay... okay... it isn't that bad... but some days it sure does feel like it. To put it simply - I'm tired. I'll save you my laundry list of overwhelming life changing events and let you insert your own. I'm sure you have them... but my confession is this - I'm mentally exhausted.  While laying in bed this morning, telling God why I don't want to get up, go to