The Greatest Love Story Ever Told

Have you ever dreamed of what perfect love looks like? I'm sure at one point in your life, whether as a child watching your parents, or as a teen watching a movie and all of those steamy make-out scenes (maybe more)... or as an adult waiting for your person to come along and sweep you off your feet and fill that void that we all seem to have at some point.  Regardless of how you imagined it... I'm sure you have spent some time pondering over love in your life. I know that I have... and honestly - It has never ended up like my dreams.

As a child, I had a very colorful imagination. I had a make believe friend and her name was Tina. She had dark brown hair that hit the top of her shoulders, she wore a blue shirt and jean shorts and was always the same size as me. I sincerely believed she was real and she was my best friend. I'm grateful my parents never tried to stifle my imagination. It has served me well throughout my life... well mostly...lol 

As I entered my teenage years I found myself less imaginative. I stopped dreaming and imagining like I did as I child, something I'm sure most of us outgrow... but instead of filling that void with something good... I filled it with insecurities and uncertainty. I became concerned with the thoughts of others. I focused on what the people around me had and what I didn't have... what they looked like compared to me and so on. I had this emptiness inside of me that I tried to fill with so many different things and none of those things seemed to work. The hole grew bigger and bigger until one day it consumed me. I fell into a deep suicidal depression. If you've read my book "Don't Give Up" you know the full story... if not - here's a link to it Don't Give Up. The innocent little girl with the big imagination that always saw the world as bright and beautiful was lost. The love that I had once dreamed of was a distant memory.

In my book, I share my story of depression and how God healed me. To this day I still have not had a suicidal thought. I found this amazing love that pulled me out of the depths of my depression. I have never felt more loved in my entire life. Everything I ever needed, wanted, didn't even know I needed but I did - was provided for me through this love.

Every tear was wiped away, I felt whole again. I had joy and peace that I couldn't explain. I couldn't stop smiling. I can only say that this feeling is exactly what love is supposed to be. Patient, gentle, kind, not jealous, not self seeking, pure and sweet and selfless. 

Fast forward - I served in ministry for over 20 years, sharing this amazing love with anyone that would listen. I got married, had 3 beautiful healthy babies (that are now grown) and lived a beautiful life. Then after 20 years of marriage, my husband walked out. To say that I was devastated is an understatement. There is probably an old blog somewhere that tells more on that event... lol... but that's not for today.

Several years passed and during those years I walked away from God. I never lost my faith... I just lost my direction. I allowed sin to creep into my life. I let my guard down. I let people abuse me and curse me. I let those that were miserable in their own sin infect my soul. I allowed it. I cannot blame God. I allowed it.... I have had opportunities to speak... and I did - and I felt the fire of God rush through my veins - I was doing what I was called to do - and then when I came down from the pulpit - when the devil got me alone and away from those that truly loved me and wanted to see me thrive - he used people to tell me, you should be ashamed, you shouldn't be sharing God's love while you are a sinner, you are a hypocrite .... The condemnation over took me - take note - I said condemnation - not conviction! I retracted and I hid. 

But God - Oh but God! There is always a remnant... and this time the remnant is my own flesh and blood. While on this unpredictable detour the one thing that has never wavered, has been the prayers for my children. I have gone before God everyday of their lives and prayed with every ounce of breath in me... God save my children! God use my children! God keep my children safe! 

God never shows up like we think He will - it's always better! My oldest son has recently done a full fast, only water, and has spent hours in prayer and reading his bible. Can we just pause for a moment and give God a Hallelujah - full on speak in tongues if you want to - praise the Name of Jesus - jump up and down and run the aisles like the Pentecostal do. Shew... I'm outta breath! Haha! My baby has been on his own spiritual journey... But God - Oh But God - by him sharing his journey with me, he has ignited a spark in my soul that I thought had been completely extinguished. Through his words God reminded me that He is married to the backslider.

This is where the love story gets good. Remember that love that I spoke of... the one we've all dreamed about, maybe even experienced a little bit of and then lost it and then felt like we would never find it again? Well... let me tell you - it hasn't gone anywhere. God will never force you but He will also never leave you. His love knows no boundaries, you can push him, curse him. yell at him, fight him and run as far away as you possibly can away from Him and He will still love you! Obviously that behavior doesn't show love on our end... but when you get to the point that you realize God still loves you in the midst of your hatefulness, nastiness, ungodliness, unrighteousness, sinfulness... and the ugly of ugliest - it ignites a spark of love inside of you that begins to grow with such conviction that it naturally pushes all of the ugly away and fills it with all of the attributes of real love. 

1 Corinthians 13:4 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

I used to preach it but honestly I had never really lived it. I experienced it as much as I could when I first found the Lord. Now, divorced, abandoned and backslidden - these scriptures have a whole new meaning to me. 

God loves me! He hasn't left me... AND if I wanna share His love and goodness while I'm still trying to figure this mess out - He is okay with it! Shame on those who try to condemn those of us struggling to walk the walk and fight the fight while keeping our faith and loving God and allowing God to love us. Jesus died for me - I doubt any of these condemning me would die for me. The Word says if we don't praise Him the rocks will cry out in our place... and I will not allow a rock to praise God in my place... even if that place is currently stuck in mud. 

The greatest love story every told is found in your bible. It's better than anything you could ever possibly dream up. 

I once had a preacher tell me that the bible is like a personal love letter written from God straight to me. Others argue this theory... but you know what... God is a personal God, the bible is written for us, to read and take everything we read, to learn from it and to apply it to our lives... so that we can live a full, abundant life - filled with peace. He doesn't always calm the storm but He calms us in the midst of the storm.

I pray, if you're like me, and you've been living in a backslidden state, that you will receive this message... God loves you! He died for you and He wants you to rest in Him and trust Him and He will help you live the life you desire. His love is real. It isn't fake like the these fakers out here pretending to love you... when in all reality - they don't even know how to love themselves. Pray for them.

Don't Give Up - God's got you!

Drop a comment and let me know if you are on this journey with me and I'll be praying for you and I hope you will be praying for me.