Remember the days you prayed for the things you have today.
One of my friends posted that saying recently, and it stopped me in my tracks.
Because sometimes when we're trusting God during hard times, we're so focused on what we're still waiting for that we forget to look around and recognize the prayers He has already answered.
I've been on a healing journey since 2020, and I've lost track of the thousands of prayers I've cried before the Lord.
If you've followed my blog for a while, you know that 2020 was the year my husband of 20 years and I separated. And it wasn't just the separation. It was everything that came with it.
I was broken in ways I didn't even know I could be broken.
I literally had to rebuild my life.
My entire life.
When Life Doesn't Go the Way You Planned
I've tried multiple times over the years to explain the sheer devastation that season had on me, and I always seem to fall short.
If you've experienced a tragedy or a loss that completely changed the direction of your life, you probably understand.
There are some kinds of pain you simply can't explain to someone who hasn't lived through them.
But through that season, there was something I couldn't shake:
God cared about what I was going through even more than I realized.
I didn't always understand what He was doing. I certainly didn't understand His timing. But little by little, I began learning that I could trust Him even when I couldn't understand Him.
And can we retire the phrase "It could be worse" when someone is hurting?
Yes. It could be worse.
But sometimes what you're carrying right now is already incredibly hard.
I learned that I didn't have to minimize my pain to be grateful to God. I could say, "God, this hurts," and still believe He was going to carry me through it.
Starting Over After Everything Fell Apart
Everything happened so fast.
He said he was leaving. He moved out. Before I knew it, we were selling our home—a home we had built together.
We had even used permanent marker to write Scriptures on the foundation as it was being built. It was our reminder that our home was literally built on the Word of God.
And then suddenly, I was moving back in with my parents.
I didn't just feel like I'd lost my marriage. I felt like I'd lost the life I'd spent years building.
What remained was a storage unit filled with memories and things that had once filled a happy home—or what I thought was a happy home.
I had to start over.
Faith Doesn't Mean You Never Struggle
For a while, I didn't handle the pain particularly well.
I backslid in my relationship with God. I tried to ignore how hurt I really was. And yes, there was also my Dating Chronicles era.
We'll just say there were some... interesting choices. 😂
Eventually, though, I realized I needed a plan.
I started saving every cent I could. My plan was to stay with my parents for two years and then buy a home of my own.
Simple enough, right?
Except the housing market apparently had other plans.
Interest rates went up. Home prices went up. Rent wasn't exactly cheap either.
And suddenly my nice little two-year rebuilding plan didn't look very realistic.
I felt defeated before I even got started.
But I kept going.
My friends and family encouraged me, and my three babies gave me another reason not to quit.
They had watched me preach Don't Give Up their entire lives.
Now they were watching me live it.
James 2 reminds us that faith and action belong together.
I couldn't just say I trusted God and then stop moving.
So I worked.
I saved.
I prayed.
And I kept going.
When God's Timing Doesn't Match Yours
My two-year plan eventually turned into a five-year journey.
Five years.
During that season, I kept coming back to Isaiah 55:8–9, where God reminds us that His thoughts and ways are higher than ours.
I didn't understand why things were taking so long.
I definitely cried myself to sleep many nights.
But praise God, I didn't give up.
I prayed every day that God would lead me to the right home and make a way for me to purchase it.
And then there was the house.
The House I Prayed For
There's a neighborhood across the street from my parents' house. I grew up in this area, and I get up early and walk through that neighborhood many mornings.
There was one house in particular that always caught my attention.
It was exactly what I wanted.
A beautiful brick rancher with an absolutely gorgeous yard.
The owner had gone on to be with Jesus, and her son is a childhood friend of mine.
I would walk past that house and stretch my hand toward it and pray.
One day, in the Name of Jesus, it will be mine.
Then my doubt would creep in and tell me I couldn't afford it.
So I looked at other houses.
I searched apartments online.
I tried to convince myself that maybe something else was meant for me.
But I couldn't stop thinking about that house.
That house gave me peace.
Learning to Trust God's Direction
I remember looking at another home that had been completely renovated.
It was in a neighborhood I knew. It was priced well under my budget. It was closer to my job.
On paper?
This was the house.
I walked inside and immediately felt sick to my stomach.
There was that no peace feeling again.
Ugh.
My mom was with me that day. When we got back into the car, she said:
"Honey, you just have to be patient. God has the perfect house for you."
I hate the word patient.
I am patient! 😂
IT HAD BEEN FIVE YEARS!
But begrudgingly, I took her advice.
I stopped looking at houses for a while and concentrated on the things I could do:
Work. Save. Pray.
The Prayer I Prayed in the Driveway
The next morning, I went for another walk.
When I reached the house I'd been praying about, I decided to walk the loop of its circular paved driveway.
I took my time.
And I prayed with every step.
God already knew what was in my heart. But I've learned that prayer isn't about informing God of something He doesn't know.
Prayer changes us.
It draws us closer to Him.
God knows what we don't know. He knows the future. He knows why the timing has to be what it is.
We don't.
That's why surrendering our plans to God can be so difficult—and so important.
I finally prayed:
God, if this is Your will for me, make a way.
And guess what?
He did.
God Made a Way
Even after it happened, I couldn't quite believe it.
But it was real.
The house was mine.
The house I had walked past.
The house I had prayed over.
The house I had convinced myself I couldn't afford.
The house that had brought me peace when nothing else did.
After years of living with my parents and rebuilding my life, I owned my own home again.
And suddenly I found myself thinking about all those prayers I'd prayed when I couldn't see how any of this was going to work out.
How Do You Trust God During Hard Times?
Looking back, I realize that trusting God during hard times didn't mean I always felt strong.
I wasn't strong every day.
Sometimes trusting God looked like praying.
Sometimes it looked like going to work.
Sometimes it looked like saving another little bit of money.
Sometimes it meant waiting when I desperately wanted to move.
Sometimes it meant crying in the shower and saying:
"God, this is too hard."
And sometimes faith simply meant getting up the next morning and trying again.
God didn't give up on me.
There were times I felt like I had given up on myself, but somehow His love kept finding me.
Sometimes through my children.
Sometimes through my parents.
Sometimes through His Word.
Sometimes during my morning drive to work with praise and worship playing.
And sometimes in that shower while I stood there crying.
He was there.
Look at What God Has Already Done
Today my life looks very different.
My career is thriving. I'm still acting and shooting commercials. I've experienced beautiful moments with my children, including a bucket-list trip to Yellowstone with my middle son after he graduated from college.
And if that sounds like I'm bragging...
I am.
I'm bragging on the goodness of God.
I'm bragging about the way God can restore broken pieces.
The way He can make a way when you can't see one.
The way He can love us through our mess.
Because even in my brokenness...
Even when I wasn't living the way I knew I should...
Even when I was rebelling...
God loved me through it.
He didn't walk away.
He didn't stop loving me.
He remained steady when almost everything else in my life felt uncertain.
If You're Waiting on God Right Now
Maybe you're reading this while you're in the middle of your own five-year plan.
Maybe you've been praying for something so long that you're starting to wonder whether anything is happening.
Maybe your life looks nothing like you thought it would. If you're in a season of rebuilding too, I shared more of my journey in From Broken to Restored: 7 Steps That Changed My Life.
I can't promise you that God will answer your prayer exactly the way He answered mine.
And I can't promise that His answer will look exactly like the one you've imagined.
But I can tell you what my journey taught me:
Keep praying.
Keep trusting.
Keep doing the things you can do while you wait.
Keep surrendering the things you can't control.
And every once in a while, look around.
You might discover you're standing in the middle of something you once prayed for.
God is so good.
So...
Pray. Believe. Trust.
Oh—and be patient.
LOL.
God bless you.
And please...
Don't Give Up. ❤️
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