20 Years 20 Lessons - Lesson 9 - Respect is Earned

Lesson 9 - Respect is earned when given. This is something that I was taught as a young child and it has really stuck with me throughout my life. It was also a lesson that I learned in ministry. We are commanded to love everyone but what about respect? Where does that fall into play? I think the two go hand in hand. 

The short definition of respect means to regard someone as being worthy of admiration because of good qualities. There are many scriptures that tell us how to be respectful but it is up to us to apply them to our life and live them day to day.

Working in ministry for many years I have seen people come and go and one of their biggest complaints when leaving was that they didn’t get the respect they felt like they deserved. Respect is something that is earned and by earned I mean showing others that you respect them by living the word of God before them. In return you will gain their respect.

I had a family member that preached respect on the daily for years. This person demanded things without asking for them or saying please and thank you. This person boasted highly of themselves and their accomplishments. It was hard to respect them. But nevertheless I strived to obey God’s Word. I eventually noticed this person start to change. God’s Word will do that whether you are living it or preaching it. It never goes out into a void. 

If you find yourself feeling a lack of respect from those around you then I encourage you to ask yourself some questions.

1. Are you treating others the way you want to be treated? Not the way they treated you first. - Matthew 7:12 So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets.

2. Are you someone that can be counted on? Can others trust you to love them even if they are having a bad day? - Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves.

3. Do you truly value others? - Philippians 2:3 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves,

4. Do you always strive to do the right thing - even when no one is looking? Titus 2:7  In everything set them an example by doing what is good. In your teaching show integrity, seriousness,

5. Are you practicing respecting others? 1 Peter 2:17 Show proper respect to everyone, love the family of believers, fear God, honor the emperor.

These are just a few verses to help with the path of giving and receiving respect. It isn’t a hard concept to grasp but the application can be difficult especially when dealing with disrespectful people. 

I had it backwards for many years. I thought someone had to show me respect in order for me to respect them...but that isn’t the case. I can only control my actions and behaviors. If God is instructing me to respect someone then that is what I am meant to do regardless of how they treat me. However, if I am respectful first then the chances of earning someone else’s respect will increase by A LOT! 

Romans 13:7 Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.