Don't Give Up

I turn 41 today and I am so grateful to have had another year on this earth. We are never promised tomorrow...so I will take advantage of this moment and share my birthday wish with you. But more than a wish - this is my prayer - for every future year I have on this earth. I've always had a list of birthday wishes widely ranging from out of town getaways to jewelry. This year my birthday wish is far more valuable than the most expensive things. My wish this year and every year after...is to help others. I guess I've finally grown up. I've been in ministry for many years now and I have always loved helping others...but now...it seems more urgent. My heart is instantly triggered by the cold - thinking of those without a warm place to find some rest. When I sit down to enjoy a meal whether alone or surrounded by loved ones, my mind drifts to those all over the world that do not know where their next meal will come from.  I've worked with so many hurting soul...

From the depths of my soul I cried out to God this morning that He would touch the hearts and the minds of the women that reached out to me just this week - then my mind drifted to every week since I’ve been in ministry - then for those hurting women that I do not even know...these beautiful precious women...these children of God...these desperate souls that just want the hurt to go away. I prayed. Broken marriages, children in trouble, sickness, lay offs, death and the list goes on. Life can be so unfair at times. We try to do our best, we try to live a good life, we try to honor God in our actions, our speech, our love for others - but there are some days when life is just too much to bear. I’ve been there...oh have I been there. I cry out to God just like you do...they do...we all do. And you know what? God has yet to let me down. Somehow - some way - in the midst of my desperate pleas to just make it all stop - He comes to me. He breaks through the tears, the heartache, the ...

Before I was a Christian, before I knew what asking Jesus to be my Savior meant and before I knew this was actually a scripture in the bible - I learned - “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you”. It was boldly posted on plastic covered posters lining the walls of my elementary school, everyday it was repeated by my teachers and at home by my parents. They called it the golden rule. What they were saying...was simply - be kind. A golden rule indeed. Gold is considered valuable for many reasons but one I find most interesting is that it doesn’t oxidize and it is has the highest corrosion resistance of all metals. What does this have to do with kindness? As a society we used to look at kindness as something valuable and not easily corroded. It was esteemed as something as valuable as gold. In today’s world it seems that actual gold is far more valuable than an act of kindness. Human trafficking, school shootings, mass murders, war, government in turmoil and unfortunately...

I’m here to take sides. Yep! You heard me. Everyone is talking about this new album of Kanye’s and how it is dividing Christianity and that makes me sick. I am so sick of division. But I get it...I woke up this morning and decided I’m going to take sides too - Jesus’ side. I always thought I was on Jesus’ side but then I thought ‘have I really’? I made an oath to myself about a month ago to be more bold for God but it is turning out to be harder than I thought. Why? I’ll tell ya why...because the voices of those against you can be pretty darn loud. I have to give kudos to Kanye West for pushing past the millions of naysayers and testifying about his new found faith in God. Fist bump - high five - kudos my brother in Christ! I honestly cannot imagine the backlash he is receiving. I know for myself that anytime someone posts something that pricks conviction in someone’s heart and they don’t understand what conviction is they will lash out at you worse than a mama bear protecting ...

Can I just take a moment and be real with you? Having a son away at college is hard! My momstinct goes off on the daily. It’s like I just know he’s testing the boundaries every chance he gets. And our conversations when he comes home have gotten - how do I say - much more adult and worldly. A lot more. We’ve always been open with our kids about everything. As soon as they asked “Where did I come from?” We told them. We’ve talked about drugs, alcohol, smoking, vaping, bullying, politics, suicide, sex, gender or no gender - you name it - we’ve covered it. Most of these conversations occur around the dinner table with the entire family present. Some conversations were a lot more uncomfortable than others, but if they wanted to discuss it and felt comfortable asking us about it then we took the big gulp, sometimes a shot (just kidding) and talked about it. We have always been open and honest and in return our kids have been open and honest with us. Sometimes - too honest - but not really -...

Jesus...Jesus...Jesus is my heart's cry when I feel like I'm about to fall apart and thoughts and words just become a jumbled mess of nonsense. You know those times in your life when you are so heartbroken you can barely form a thought so words are definitely out of the question. You just sit and sob and remain paralyzed by the mountain of overwhelming circumstances surrounding you. Then... from the secret place of your soul - you cry out Jesus...Jesus...Jesus! Recently I found my heart so burdened by everything going on around me that I literally sat paralyzed in my bedroom floor. Unable to move - tears rolling down my face - then all of a sudden my heart cried out - Jesus! Jesus! Jesus! I continued to sit there, tears pouring down my face, His name on my lips and my heart pounding so hard with every bellow I felt like it would bust out of my chest. More thoughts consumed me as I struggled to form a complete sentence in prayer...still all I could birth was the Name of Jesu...

I was listening to my daily devotional podcast the other morning when a new revelation dawned on me. I have allowed myself to become bound in chains by what others think about me. Don’t get me wrong...I believe as a Christian we should always be mindful that we are living the way the bible tells us to and to the best of our ability. However, we should not allow ourselves to be consumed with thoughts of what others think about us. That leads to extra stress in our lives that we just don’t need. This new revelation really surprised me because I really thought I had broken free from this. I used to be a “people pleaser”. I would do anything for anyone and it usually came at the expense of my family. I figured my family loved me and would forgive me for breaking promises or rearranging our schedules so I could fit in time to “help” someone else. When God convicted me of this I immediately repented. I also realized that being a people pleaser is pretty selfish. If you are one, you will ge...

Don't Give Up is the title of my new book. My only book. Ha ha! We all have to start somewhere... right? I'll be honest when I first started writing my story down over four years ago I thought it was just going to be a blog post. Then, I couldn't stop writing. I just kept writing and writing. Before I knew it I had 21 chapters. Not all of them were completely finished but they were substantial. Then writer's block hit and it hit hard. I never thought I would finish my book. In fact the last 2 chapters didn't come to me until after I did something... something the Lord had been telling me to do for a while... but I just couldn't bring myself to do it - well - not until it became very evident that He was not going to allow me to go any further until I did what He was telling me to do. I was seriously at a point of giving up or giving in. I decided to give into God. I'm so glad I did. This 'thing' He was asking me to do was no small thing. It was goin...

Have you ever played the what if game? What if I had more money? What if I had married someone different? What if my kids actually listened to me? What if I had a different job? What if I wasn't so sick all the time? What if I lived in a different house? What if I drove a different car? What if I had responded differently? What if...what if...what if??? This morning it dawned on me that even though I am pushing forward towards what God has next for me and my family there is one major thing I have yet to do. That is to let go of the past. I’m holding on to the life we had before this hurricane blew through and shook our lives into something unrecognizable. Why? Because it was familiar. It was comfortable. I knew what to expect. There are things about our old life that I do not miss. I’ll save that for another day. But what I do miss I miss so much. I have learned so many lessons over the course of the last 22 months that I'm starting to lose count. Each one came with it'...

Today I revisited an unpleasant season in my life. This was a season in which I wasn't enjoying my life at all. Not even a small M&M's worth. I watch Joyce Meyer every day and I love her theme "Enjoying Everyday Life". I felt like I had adopted this motto for my own and life and would seek out joy in the smallest of things. I would giggle as I watched the squirrels scurry around and chase one another during my morning walks. My first cup of coffee in the morning was comforting - like sitting down with an old friend. Journaling - Oh how I love writing down all of the wonderful things God was doing in my life. However the luster of all these things had lost their shine. Everything around me seemed dull and I couldn't find color no matter how hard I tried. Our family has endured so many mentally, physically and spiritually taxing circumstances over that last couple of years that I was just living each day in survival mode. Do you know what that is? It’s when yo...

Here is a quick video about how a small shift in my schedule is allowing me to get more done for the Lord. Watch and leave your thoughts in the comments. Have a blessed day!

I've decided to add some Vlogging to my blogging! Enjoy! You can still put your feedback in the comments. I'd like to hear your thoughts. Have a great day!

Don’t despise the valley. I heard it loud and clear during my prayer time with God. Then He went on to tell me, “It was in the valley of depression where you found Me, the real Me.” I wept before the Lord. It was such a raw truth that my heart was lead to conviction. I confess, lately I've been complaining more and more about our current situation. This season of what feels like never ending  roller coaster rides has drudged me through more valleys and miry clay than beautiful peaceful mountain tops and I’m getting pretty weary. I have definitely complained more than I have praised and I know I have doubted more than I have believed. But yet here is my God still encouraging me, still guiding me, still loving me. He is still giving me exactly what I need when I need it. Why? Because He loves me...He loves you. His heart is to draw closer to us and for us to seek to draw closer to Him. And sometimes we have to go through a valley to get there. Matthew 6:33 (KJV) 33 But seek ye f...

I’ve put off writing while waiting for something amazing to happen to write about. I think in my mind there should have been this HUGE testimony by now to share. There isn’t. But… then there is. My testimony is this...I’m still here...I’m still fighting...I’m keeping the faith...I am not giving up! Philippians 3:13-14 Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have laid hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize of God’s heavenly calling in Christ Jesus. I guess I’ve been thinking who would want to hear about all of my struggles. Who wants to know that the last 18 months have been some of the most gut wrenching horrific times of my life. Who wants to hear someone whose life work is to evangelize and encourage others and seemingly lives a blessed life day to day…also struggles a lot day to day. Well, I found out, the truth is...a lot of people. God is teaching me that I can still encoura...

Several months ago I started a series of blogs titled 20 Years 20 Lessons. The inspiration came from a section in my book “Don’t Give Up” where I share 20 things I’ve learned while being in ministry for over 20 years. My heart was to share one thing a day for 20 days that God had taught me. That didn’t happen...so I tried to write once a week...that didn’t happen...so I tried to write when I could...well I found myself not being able to write. My book was finished, we were in the process of moving, the holiday’s were around the corner and we were dealing with a lot of uncertainties. I had no time to write...and if I’m being honest; I had no desire to write. Eventually I wrote a couple of other things trying to get my passion back but yet again I felt nothing. I hate unfinished business. Do you have things in your life that are unfinished? Maybe you started a project at home and it’s just sitting there staring at you everyday taunting you, “Are you going to finish me?” The thing is yo...

Three days later and I am still trying to articulate words that can do justice to what we experienced this past weekend at our UNBREAKABLE Women's Conference. I am still on a Holy Ghost high and don't want to come down...haha! However, I do want to take a moment and share this testimony with you in hopes of encouraging you with whatever endeavors you are currently in the middle of right now - or even plans you are making for the future. God wants to bless you! Believe it! Let me start off by saying I did not want to do this conference. I’ve done them in the past and they are a lot of work and for some reason the support has just not been there - maybe it was God's timing, maybe it something else... none the less it wasn't there. The vision God gave me this time was bigger than anything we had ever done before and it scared me. My first thought was - God is this you or me?  I knew that if I wasn’t hearing from Him and this was of “me” then I would end up feeling the ...

20 Years of Ministry and 20 Lessons - Lesson 12 - Dealing w/ Jealousy The bible clearly states that Christians shouldn’t be jealous. (see Proverbs 14:30 ) It isn’t good for us. It can literally make us sick on the inside and then it shows on the outside. Yet I have met more than my fair share of jealous Christians over the years. The lesson I learned from meeting the jealous is that they are so miserable on the inside they can’t see passed their green clouded vision to be any good for the Kingdom of God. They need prayer...and lots of it! When I was first called into ministry I was surrounded by loving caring Christian people. They supported me and I them. We worked together building the Kingdom of God. Then something changed. When God began to elevate me and move me to new levels in ministry I noticed a lack of support. Those that had been by my side were no longer there. It was devastating at times. I thought that my Christian friends, of all people, would be happy for the doors ...