Breaking Free
I was listening to my daily devotional podcast the other morning when a new revelation dawned on me. I have allowed myself to become bound in chains by what others think about me. Don’t get me wrong...I believe as a Christian we should always be mindful that we are living the way the bible tells us to and to the best of our ability. However, we should not allow ourselves to be consumed with thoughts of what others think about us. That leads to extra stress in our lives that we just don’t need.
This new revelation really surprised me because I really thought I had broken free from this. I used to be a “people pleaser”. I would do anything for anyone and it usually came at the expense of my family. I figured my family loved me and would forgive me for breaking promises or rearranging our schedules so I could fit in time to “help” someone else. When God convicted me of this I immediately repented. I also realized that being a people pleaser is pretty selfish. If you are one, you will get this. We like the way it makes us feel when we do something for someone and they thank us, praise us and ooooh and aw over our generosity. As Christians we do the polite thing and say “All the glory goes to the Lord”, when in reality we are relishing in the way we feel about ourselves. Maybe we should rename it...addicted to praise. Either way there is a balance in helping others and making others happy and that should never come at the expense of yourself and especially not your family. They are our first ministry.
The journey of breaking the “people pleaser” in me was not easy. In fact it got pretty ugly. I became even more selfish. Since I had always said yes and would do anything to make that yes happen I decided the only way to break it was to say “no”. You can imagine how that went over. Now I was using my family as an excuse to say ‘no’ to everything. Honestly, sometimes I miss that ‘no’ girl. Haha! If there was one of those home parties I didn’t want to go to I could blame it on needing to be home with my kids. If someone needed help moving, a ride somewhere or a babysitter...I had my ‘no’ reasons lined up. And now with all of my newfound freedom I could be...well free! Yeah, not so fast said the Lord. I totally missed the ball on that one. We must have balance. So after a season of riding the ‘yes’ ‘no’ teeter totter I found my balance.
Where did I find my balance? In the Word of God. It’s where I find all of the answers to living life. I’d have to write another book to share all of the scriptures that got me through this difficult season, hey, maybe I will...haha - but until then, dive into the Word of God and be set free. It’s amazing.
Now, fast forward to the present and that ‘ole sneaky devil is trying to creep his way back in. Did you know he can take on different forms? The bible says, “ And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.” (2 Corinthians 11:14) Truth! The bible says so. In order to recognize him, you’ve got to know your word and I encourage you to pray for the gift of discernment. It has served me well over the years.
This time around, as a new author, actress and speaker I have been enjoying the compliments I receive when someone thinks I’ve done a job well. The new way this has affected my life is that now I think about everything I do, say, post, wear, roles I accept, etc., from the view of what “they” will say or think about this? Who is they? Social Media followers (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat etc), ministry friends, extended family, co workers, the mailman...you name ‘em...I’m thinking, what will they think about this? It’s exhausting and NOT of God. I would change my outfits several times before leaving the house afraid to show a crack of cleavage because I don’t want to offend. You should see me jumping around and bending over to see if the ‘girls’ stay in place or expose themselves. I’ve got big ‘girls’. I really can’t hide them, even under lots of fabric. This is just one silly example of the lengths I went to in order to keep my image “Christian”.
Next, I’ve turned down some really amazing acting opportunities because of the fear of what others will think. My rule has always been if my kids can’t see it then I can’t do it. I think it’s a good rule. What I have found though, is that “Christians” love to judge others and justify their own actions. We can watch the Passion of the Christ and all of it’s blood and gore because it is demonstrating what Christ went through but a show with violence that isn’t faith based isn’t acceptable. Even if that show is depicting a post apocalyptic world which could very well be educating us on the fact that we need to take care of our environment or we could very well end up living like they did in biblical times. Slow your roll...see...some of you are getting ready to comment something judgy. I’m not saying to go and watch terrible shows...I’m just saying, we justify, we judge and in reality we are just called to love. Re-read the plank and the stick scripture and see what it really means. It’s such a good word!
I have even held back on a lot of videos that I post on social media and blogs that I write for fear of the comments. I know, right...little words typed by someone hiding behind a screen. It sounds ridiculous but for some of us those little words can be crippling.
My point is, that I have allowed the voices of others to become louder than the voice of the Lord. It ends today. My goal in life is to be the best me I can be for the Lord. I have already faced my fair share of haters just by stepping out in faith to follow the calling on my life. I think that is one of the reasons a sliver of fear has crept in. Words do hurt. I have watched some of my favorite Christian women respond to horrible judgement and criticism on social media. They have done so with grace and mercy. I will always strive to do the same. I believe God has given me a voice and that voice is about to get a little bit louder. I ask you to pray for me and my family as we enter into this new season of ministry. Like your mama always said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.”
As always I want to end with encouraging you in the Lord. The calling God has on your life is yours. He has given it to you and not to someone else. As you journey through life striving to fulfill that calling to the best of your ability, remember to listen for the voice of the Lord. Let Him be your guide. Let Him lead you. Let Him confirm, redirect and be your source for counsel. There will always be very loud voices driven by the enemy of your soul coming against what you are trying to do. Through Christ we have the victory!
Philippians 1:6 (NIV)
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
This new revelation really surprised me because I really thought I had broken free from this. I used to be a “people pleaser”. I would do anything for anyone and it usually came at the expense of my family. I figured my family loved me and would forgive me for breaking promises or rearranging our schedules so I could fit in time to “help” someone else. When God convicted me of this I immediately repented. I also realized that being a people pleaser is pretty selfish. If you are one, you will get this. We like the way it makes us feel when we do something for someone and they thank us, praise us and ooooh and aw over our generosity. As Christians we do the polite thing and say “All the glory goes to the Lord”, when in reality we are relishing in the way we feel about ourselves. Maybe we should rename it...addicted to praise. Either way there is a balance in helping others and making others happy and that should never come at the expense of yourself and especially not your family. They are our first ministry.
The journey of breaking the “people pleaser” in me was not easy. In fact it got pretty ugly. I became even more selfish. Since I had always said yes and would do anything to make that yes happen I decided the only way to break it was to say “no”. You can imagine how that went over. Now I was using my family as an excuse to say ‘no’ to everything. Honestly, sometimes I miss that ‘no’ girl. Haha! If there was one of those home parties I didn’t want to go to I could blame it on needing to be home with my kids. If someone needed help moving, a ride somewhere or a babysitter...I had my ‘no’ reasons lined up. And now with all of my newfound freedom I could be...well free! Yeah, not so fast said the Lord. I totally missed the ball on that one. We must have balance. So after a season of riding the ‘yes’ ‘no’ teeter totter I found my balance.
Where did I find my balance? In the Word of God. It’s where I find all of the answers to living life. I’d have to write another book to share all of the scriptures that got me through this difficult season, hey, maybe I will...haha - but until then, dive into the Word of God and be set free. It’s amazing.
Now, fast forward to the present and that ‘ole sneaky devil is trying to creep his way back in. Did you know he can take on different forms? The bible says, “ And no wonder, for Satan himself masquerades as an angel of light.” (2 Corinthians 11:14) Truth! The bible says so. In order to recognize him, you’ve got to know your word and I encourage you to pray for the gift of discernment. It has served me well over the years.
This time around, as a new author, actress and speaker I have been enjoying the compliments I receive when someone thinks I’ve done a job well. The new way this has affected my life is that now I think about everything I do, say, post, wear, roles I accept, etc., from the view of what “they” will say or think about this? Who is they? Social Media followers (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, SnapChat etc), ministry friends, extended family, co workers, the mailman...you name ‘em...I’m thinking, what will they think about this? It’s exhausting and NOT of God. I would change my outfits several times before leaving the house afraid to show a crack of cleavage because I don’t want to offend. You should see me jumping around and bending over to see if the ‘girls’ stay in place or expose themselves. I’ve got big ‘girls’. I really can’t hide them, even under lots of fabric. This is just one silly example of the lengths I went to in order to keep my image “Christian”.
Next, I’ve turned down some really amazing acting opportunities because of the fear of what others will think. My rule has always been if my kids can’t see it then I can’t do it. I think it’s a good rule. What I have found though, is that “Christians” love to judge others and justify their own actions. We can watch the Passion of the Christ and all of it’s blood and gore because it is demonstrating what Christ went through but a show with violence that isn’t faith based isn’t acceptable. Even if that show is depicting a post apocalyptic world which could very well be educating us on the fact that we need to take care of our environment or we could very well end up living like they did in biblical times. Slow your roll...see...some of you are getting ready to comment something judgy. I’m not saying to go and watch terrible shows...I’m just saying, we justify, we judge and in reality we are just called to love. Re-read the plank and the stick scripture and see what it really means. It’s such a good word!
I have even held back on a lot of videos that I post on social media and blogs that I write for fear of the comments. I know, right...little words typed by someone hiding behind a screen. It sounds ridiculous but for some of us those little words can be crippling.
My point is, that I have allowed the voices of others to become louder than the voice of the Lord. It ends today. My goal in life is to be the best me I can be for the Lord. I have already faced my fair share of haters just by stepping out in faith to follow the calling on my life. I think that is one of the reasons a sliver of fear has crept in. Words do hurt. I have watched some of my favorite Christian women respond to horrible judgement and criticism on social media. They have done so with grace and mercy. I will always strive to do the same. I believe God has given me a voice and that voice is about to get a little bit louder. I ask you to pray for me and my family as we enter into this new season of ministry. Like your mama always said, “If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.”
As always I want to end with encouraging you in the Lord. The calling God has on your life is yours. He has given it to you and not to someone else. As you journey through life striving to fulfill that calling to the best of your ability, remember to listen for the voice of the Lord. Let Him be your guide. Let Him lead you. Let Him confirm, redirect and be your source for counsel. There will always be very loud voices driven by the enemy of your soul coming against what you are trying to do. Through Christ we have the victory!
Philippians 1:6 (NIV)
being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.
Happy Birthday, Amy Lynn....Love you Girl. So thankful God arranged for me to be a part of your life & ministry. (Looking forward to reading your newsletters.)
ReplyDeleteThe site has blocked your name...but going by you calling me Amy Lynn...haha...I know you are family! Thank you for loving me and praying for me and partnering with this ministry. We couldn't do it without you! xoxoxo Love you too!
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