Can I really do all things?

My favorite scripture is Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ whom strengthens me”. I have even joked with my pastor about finding a new favorite verse because it seems like this last year has been filled with trial after test after valley; with only little glimpses of the mountain tops in between. I feel like as soon as I overcome an obstacle in my life I am quickly faced with a new one. I believe what the Lord allows to happen in our lives, he lets happen to make us stronger and to help us build closer more intimate relationships with him. I also believe he won’t allow more to happen to us than we can handle because he knows how strong we are even if we don’t feel it at the time of testing. I also believe we can bring problems and obstacles on ourselves.

Yesterday I came to a crossroad. I stood at the bottom of the biggest mountain I have ever seen. A literal mountain, not a “life’s trial mountain”, but an enormous mound of rock and trees that looked like it could reach the heavens.  I thought of Moses standing on a similar mountain when God gave him the 10 commandments. I thought how brave Moses had been and that he too was probably a little overwhelmed at the size of the earth beneath him.  I snapped back into reality as my three children pulled on me and asked if they could ride the sky lift that took you up the mountain to the overlook on top and then back down again.  I said sure. I couldn’t believe myself; me, the one scared to death of heights had found the courage to ride this ride. I felt strong in my faith. I was an over comer. As Tom waited in line to get the tickets my curiosity took over and I went to the place where everyone was getting on and off the sky lift. I wanted to see how it was made, how it worked and how it attached itself to the cable that carried you all the way up and back down the mountain. I was defeated. I could not see how the lift attached itself to the cable. It looked like the top of the ride, the most important part, the part that secured your lift to the cable was just sticking inside the cable without any bolts, without any clamps, absolutely nothing. I wanted to speak to the engineer of this 30 year old ride and tell him how unsafe this was and that he had been lucky the past 30 years, that no one had gotten hurt, but I just knew that this lift would not be able to carry my family all the way up and back down the mountain safely, as a 300lb man got off laughing and joking with his children. He was lucky too. I hurried back to Tom to plead my case before he bought the tickets.  I was already sweating, I felt light headed and nauseous. As I walked towards him he smiled and said this is pretty expensive, we could just drive up to the lookout; I love that man. After explaining to the kids, the importance of saving money, we headed back to our van so we could start our trek up The Great Smoky Mountains.

On the way back to the van I had some time with my thoughts. Even though it was actually Tom’s idea to bail on the ride due to the fact that is was extremely overpriced, I felt defeated, weak and that my favorite scripture “I can do all things” probably shouldn’t be my favorite scripture anymore. I wasn’t worthy to claim such a powerful word when I could be so easily defeated.  I asked the Lord, where was my strength to ride the sky lift.  I let my family down, myself down, and I felt like I had let the Lord down. Then Tom stopped at the ice cream parlor and bought me a large waffle cone filled with peanut butter and chocolate ice cream. Why am I upset? What happened? The ice cream was so delicious my problem seemed to melt away with each bite. The kids gobbled their ice cream down on the way to the van and all was right with the world.

The answers to my question began to unfold as we drove up the windy roads to the look out. I looked out the window and watched the mountains close in on us. It is beautiful this time of year. Everything is green and lush. The trees are tall and plentiful and wild flowers are abundant along the side of the road. There is a “crick” that runs along the side of the road and it seems as if it helps to keep our pace.  As the water moved along it almost seemed like it was playing over the rocks and it created small waterfalls over the bigger boulders. We pulled over to take a closer look. Before we knew it, we were rock hopping. We were laughing and jumping rocks and enjoying our time together as a family.  Maggie and Jonathan built rock art with some of the smooth stones they pulled from the bottom of the creek. They giggled as they stacked their stones and compared their sculptures to the previous explorer’s statues. It was so much fun. In fact it was the best time we have had since we have been here.  We got back in our van and continued traveling up the mountain. We drove through tunnels and around windy roads. We pulled over to take pictures and to take in the beauty around us. It was a special day and we made memories that we will cherish for years to come.

Back in the cabin and pondering on the day’s events, the Lord showed me his mighty works. I was not defeated. I was an over comer. Choosing or not choosing to ride the sky lift does not determine who I am in the Lord. Even though the view was probably amazing and I would have felt a sense of accomplishment from pushing past my fear, I was still an over comer. I did not beat myself up all day thinking about it. I got over it. I also rode up the steep mountain roads without closing my eyes, like I had been doing the previous two days. I didn’t gasp for air every time I saw the drop off next to the road. Most importantly I enjoyed the day and time spent with my family. We explored the mountain, the creeks, the rocks and we took time to smell the flowers. We passed an overturned motorcycle up in a tree and the passenger in a ditch. She was surrounded by loved ones as they waited for the paramedics to arrive. We prayed for her. I thought back to Tom’s motorcycle accident and felt grateful all over again for his recovery and that we were together and with our children on this trip. I learned that our ways are truly not the ways of the Lord. His ways are so much better. I believe sometimes we can be so stubborn and trying to prove things to ourselves and others that we miss the big picture. I’m so happy I got to see the big picture yesterday. God, Love and Family! I also learned I can do all things through Christ whom strengthens me. I may not be able to do it all in one day but step by step I’ll get there.