God Sees You

Do you ever feel like you are invisible? Do your good works continually go unnoticed? Do your good intentions get misunderstood and dumped on? Some days I sit and wonder if anyone sees me at all. I know that God does, but honestly, sometimes I don't feel like He does either. I know...not such a great thing to admit when you are working in full time ministry - but then again - I'm human. I'll just be completely honest and let you know that there are some days I get tired of pressing through. I try to always be helpful, mindful, courteous, kind and to do the right thing. So many times my efforts are ignored and dismissed and it leaves me feeling hurt. In those moments I simply feel like giving up. I don’t mean giving up on life I just mean refusing to push through the fog every day as an invisible nobody. Have you ever felt that way? I share this because I want you to know that you are not alone. I am sure that we are alike and like you I wear many hats. Not the cute ones with flowers, or fancy names like Fedora and Beret, I do like hats, but I wear more serious fulfilling hats - like wife, mom, caregiver, and minister. And you know something, it is hard.

Some days I wake up and as my husband is kissing me goodbye for work, I tell him “I'm not adulting today.” and then I bury my head in the pillow and crawl under all the covers and just wait...he then climbs over me, digs through the mountainous comforter that hides me from adulting and kisses my head. He tells me to take the day off. I love him! His intentions are to convey that to me...but we both know I can't take the day off from life. Without a plan I cannot spontaneously take the day off, I mean really off. Who would feed the dogs, the cats, the fish, the guinea pig, the chickens, or my grandmother. Who will pack the kids lunches and make them breakfast and take them to school? That is just the stuff I do from 7-8. Don’t get me started on the rest of the day. So therefore I get up, feeling invisible and I start adulting.

Living in today's world is hard, especially if you are a Christian. Not feeling like you are seen or appreciated is hard. I am not a Super Saint, I have bad days and good days, up and downs; I’ve ridden that emotional roller coaster that takes you from happy to sad, to laughing to crying all in one ride and I’ve gotten off feeling dizzier than a spin top. This last ride left me face to face with Jesus. I had been crying out to the Lord that I was tired and just didn't have the energy to keep fighting the naysayers. Really - I was on a pity pot. I'll save you the pathetic details, but I'm sure you've been there. You pour your heart out to God and then you pick up your bible and search for the scriptures that will console you like “vengeance is mine”, “I’ll restore what the locusts have stolen”, “the truth will set you free” and you wait for God to send a blessing. That was me...waiting patiently for God send someone to call or stop by and tell me how appreciated I was...haha...Oh I know...silly - but true. God answered me alright - but instead of what I thought I wanted - He gave me what I needed. He said, “I see you”.

Those 3 words changed my life! It was the most precious voice I have ever heard. To hear Him actually say "I see you" was something I will never forget. I was in my prayer closet and I was crying out to Him “God I’m tired”, “God they hate me”, “God what am I doing”, “God let them see my heart”, “God I’m tired of being called names”, “God I’m tired of being misunderstood”, “God, God, God”...and then it came, “I see you”. This huge dose of reality reminded me how much God loves me and it humbled me at the same time. I was reminded that I do not do what I do for anyone other than God. I was reminded that on those rare days when it feels like the whole world hates me for being a Christian, for standing up for Jesus and trying to do the right thing in a world that is trying to convince us wrong is right and right is wrong, that God still sees me. Sometimes we get so overwhelmed and exhausted by life we just can't see it. But even in those moments, God sees us and He is always loving us.  After I heard His sweet voice I thought to myself how could I have let myself get so beat up by the devil that I forgot who I was really serving? God knew exactly what I needed to hear and He told me. This amazing experience also reminded me that when we are faithful to call on Him, He will be faithful to meet us right where we are.

You see no one really understands our personal lives because they are not walking in our shoes. They are not us. They are them. Oh how desperately we want them to see us and to understand our intentions and our heart, but they can’t. We long for the approval of others, congratulatory pats on the back, words of affirmation and consistent thank yous.  We want so desperately for others to see us, and to see all of the good that we do, but there are some that refuse to see the good in others. Somehow we let those few people get into our mind and take away something that is not theirs to take away - and that is - who we are in Christ. The scripture John 8:32 says this “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” The truth I heard that day, that God sees me, did set me free. I felt my desire for others to see me slip away and I was left feeling full and refreshed that my Creator knows everything even the stuff down deep that no one else can see and He loves me unconditionally. I cannot always fully articulate what is in my heart to others but with God I don't have to - He already knows.

God spoke to my heart in my hour of need and He said, “I see you. I see you wake up early every morning after a restless sleepless night and push forward to fix breakfast, pack lunches, get the kids on the bus to return home and feed the chickens, the dogs, the cats, the fish and the guinea pig. I see you take time out to read your daily devotions and study My Word and cry out to me in your prayer closet. I hear your songs of praise while doing laundry, dishes, ironing and while taking a shower. I hear you plead My Blood over your family and loved ones. I see you run errands for your family and for others and I see you bless people in secret. I see you try to be a light in the world wherever you go. I see you take care of your grandmother because no one else can. I see how much you love your family and other people. I see you try to inspire your congregation. I see you drive miles and miles to do what I have called you to do and still strive to be there for your family at the end of the day. I see you. I see your writing and your attempts to inspire. I see the ones that call you names, talk behind your back, say you shouldn’t or you can’t. I see them too. I see you try to pray for them even though you don’t know them. I see you reach out to your neighbor that has spit in your face. I see you. I see your silent weeps and tears when someone has broken your heart. I see your frustration when you are misunderstood. I see everything. I see you. I see your heart.”

These are just a few of the words I heard in my Spirit that day. Our conversation went on for a very long time. I was empty and I needed to fill back up with God's love. I was humbled once again. You see I know what it feels like to be rejected, cursed at, made fun of, laughed at, judged and mistreated. I know what it is to keep secrets and hurt on the inside. I know what it is like to try to walk in love around those that would see you fall and fail. I know what it is like to feel unloved, unwanted and unappreciated. I know what depression feels like and how heavy the weight of a bondage is. I know. But I am not the only one who knows. God knows.

God sees you my friend. He sees your struggles, your pains, your heartache, your attempts at peace. He sees you being misunderstood and rejected. He sees you trying to keep up with your exhausting and overwhelming daily schedule. He sees you. He sees your heart and He hears your prayers. He wipes your tears and extends His love. He sees your smiles and He sees your accomplishments. He sees your love for your brothers and sisters in Christ. He sees you strive to take care of your family. He sees the sleepless nights with your baby or your fever stricken child. He sees you. He sees the bills, the worry, the strife and the discontentment. He sees everything. But He does not watch and do nothing. He is your cheerleader, your ever present help in a time of trouble, He is your Father, your mother, your husband, your wife, your encouragement, your friend, your brother, your sister, your healer, your Redeemer, your confidant, your helper, your guide, your light in the dark, your Creator, your Shepherd, your teacher, your Savior Jesus Christ. His Word says that He is the “Great I Am”. Whatever you need Him to be - He is. I Am your Redeemer, I Am your Healer, I AM...you fill in what you need because He sees you.

He is continually active and present in our lives if we would just “be still and know that He is God”. If we would take our mind off of the things of this world and focus our attention to His Kingdom then the things of this world would not bother us so badly. He said, “I came that you may have life and have it more abundantly”. He said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you”. He said, “I have not come into the world to condemn the world but that the world through me might be saved”. He  said, “I am the way, the truth and the life”. He has given us so many promises in the bible. He is a God that cannot lie, so when we find those treasures in His Word, we need to pray them and hold on to them. He promised, “I will send One that will help you and be with you forever”. The Holy Spirit.

I want to encourage anyone reading this to know that God sees you. Do not be worried about people and whether or not they see the good things that you do. Do not be consumed with how many followers you have, how many likes you have, how many friends you have or how many thank yous you have received. The bible says “Man looks on the outward appearance but God sees the heart”. Just like others misunderstand our intentions we are probably misunderstanding the intentions of others as well. We cannot see anyone's heart or know the good or the bad that lies within. The bible also tells us “And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God”. The bible also says, “you will know them by their fruit”. God sees our fruit.

I cannot say that I have gotten to a place where I never get my feelings hurt anymore, but I do feel peace in my Spirit knowing that I no longer seek the approval of others.  I truly believe that God sees me, hears me, loves me and will never leave me. I am learning to Praise God for those that misunderstand me because those people challenge me to draw closer to Him. God sees me. God sees you. Rejoice today that your Creator, the one who made you with a specific purpose and an important part in His plan, sees you and He loves you very much. Be blessed my friend.