It Is Green and Growing in the Bathroom

Is it nature verses nurture?  I have no idea what it is but it is growing at an unparalleled speed in my children’s bathroom. It is green, furry and may have some sort of alien gene mixed in with it, because it may also have eyes. I did not want to get too close.

 All of the children’s bedrooms and bathroom are upstairs. My bedroom and bathroom are downstairs. I rarely go upstairs. I go up in the morning to wake them up for school, and then again at night to tuck them in. I peek in their rooms to make sure they are tidy and that they have put their laundry away, but I only go in the bathroom about once a month to do a deep clean. They handle the cleaning the rest of the time. I feel this is fair, considering there is three of them.  I provide all of the supplies and then some to make sure they don’t have any excuses as to why they can’t do a decent job. Well guess what, that is all about to change! I will be checking it daily after what I discovered this morning.

My daughter, who usually showers in my shower, had to take one upstairs this morning. Long story as to why, but anyway she was upstairs. When she finished I went upstairs to help her get dressed. While I was helping her she kept saying “mommy, I’m sorry...I’m so sorry”, I thought what in the world did she do? She said “follow me”. I was clueless that she was leading me straight into the twilight zone. Seriously there

should have been some of that eerie horror movie music playing as I walked down the hall and turned the corner into the bathroom. I hate candid pictures of myself, but I wish someone could have been there to take a picture of my face when I flipped the light switch on and saw what used to be a bathroom.  I felt like I was the mom in
one of those commercials where there is mud everywhere and she just wipes it away with some super product, but I don’t think there is a super product out there that can handle this mess. Where am I? What is this? Am I still in my house? What is that green stuff growing in the corner? What is that brown stuff on the wall? What encrypted messages are smeared all over the mirror? Why are my freshly folded towels from yesterday’s laundry all over the floor, still partly folded?  Did the pipe explode? Is that empty bottle on the floor, the economy size shampoo I just bought at Costco three days ago? However, none of this is what she wanted to show me.  In fact she acted as if she did not even see the eyesore of mountainous clothes before us. She looked past all of it and walked deeper into the pit of despair. I did not know whether to laugh, cry, or just pretend I had fainted. I decided to follow her. I could not let my six year old go in alone. So, after I climbed Mount Clothes Moore, I turned another corner to see a fallen shower curtain and rod. This to me is not a big deal; how she at six, however was able to pull off such a feat is another question. The real kicker is where it landed. In the toilet, yep, but it gets better. The last one to use the toilet did not flush it. In fact it looks like they never flush it; except maybe when I tell them to clean it. Which now I am starting to wonder, do they do, except right before they know I’m coming up for the monthly deep clean. Wowzers, first the dog peed on the homework, now the shower curtain has pee all over it.  I have met my urine quota for the week thank you very much. It is almost like they knew I went to the store yesterday and stocked up on new cleaning supplies. Guess what they will be doing when they get home from school today.

This is not how I planned to start my day. I looked around at the tubes of toothpaste that have been emptied and smeared all over the double sink, and the steam from the shower, decoded secret messages they have written to one another. You know the normal, I was here, I brushed my teeth, and I hate my brother. There are dark spots all over the wall; I am praying this is either chocolate or a Pepsi can gone badly, which would raise more eyebrows as to why they had chocolate or Pepsi in the bathroom. Still better than what it could be. Oh Lord please help me.  Rolls of toilet paper un-rolled all over the floor, like they were having a race to see whose roll is faster. It is never a dull moment here in the Samuel house. I gathered up the fallen shower curtain, climbed back over Mount Clothes Moore, turned off the light, shut the door and thanked God, that I have healthy kids who can make such a mess. Yes, I did, I thanked God for the mess. Praise Him in all things. This takes it to a new level, but Praise Him I will.

I seriously question; is this a genetic disorder? Nature verses nurture, right? I have taught my kids since day one, to pick up after themselves. Put dirty clothes in the laundry basket, flush the toilet, and wash your hands. Our house certainly is not pristine; it is lived in by six people and seven animals. Don’t judge me, lol. But I have always made an effort to teach them good hygiene, picking up after themselves, a place for everything and everything in its place. This takes the prize. I did not teach them this. I will teach them how to clean it up though. I know for some moms it would kill them to know that mess was lingering upstairs. Not me. I have plans today and they don’t include climbing Mount Clothes Moore again, or scrubbing brown spots off of walls. They can handle it when they get home. After all the bible says, “Train up a child in the way they should go, and when they are older they will not depart from it.” This is a promise from the Lord and one day they will get it. One day.