Don't Give Up

Today I faced another fear.  To those of you who have followed the last few posted blogs, I feel inclined to share why I have been facing so many fears lately. Be careful what you pray for, you just might get it (wink). A few weeks ago I watched a movie where the heroine had to face several fears throughout the course of the movie. She overcame them one by one and even though she suffered great loss during the course of her journey, she persevered and was portrayed as brave and victorious. After watching the movie I wanted to be brave. I was reminded that fear is not of God and I prayed for God to be greater in my life than my fears so that when I was faced with fear I would draw power from His spirit and I would be able to overcome anything. Not soon after, I read a quote that said, “Let your faith be greater than your fear”.  The testing began. Side bar. I think sometimes when we pray for things, we don’t actually think about the process, just the end result. We think...

I think we can all agree...that everyone is afraid of something. I am afraid of heights! I have shared this before and I am sharing it again because it really bothers me that I have this fear. I have done many things to try to overcome it and through the process of trying I am learning that step by step even though my physical reactions to heights haven't changed much - the fear of them no longer control me. Every time I am faced with a new challenge that involves heights, I have the same reaction. It is like I have an internal height-o-meter. Once I have reached the limit of the height meter the symptoms of fear take over. I get sweaty palms, my breathing increases to quick rapid breaths, my heart beats faster and feels like it will pound out of my chest, I feel light headed and sometimes my stomach turns so intensely it sends me to the bathroom.   When I was younger I would submit to my fear and back down from whatever challenge faced me. As I grew up and grew in my knowledg...

My favorite scripture is Philippians 4:13 “I can do all things through Christ whom strengthens me”. I have even joked with my pastor about finding a new favorite verse because it seems like this last year has been filled with trial after test after valley; with only little glimpses of the mountain tops in between. I feel like as soon as I overcome an obstacle in my life I am quickly faced with a new one. I believe what the Lord allows to happen in our lives, he lets happen to make us stronger and to help us build closer more intimate relationships with him. I also believe he won’t allow more to happen to us than we can handle because he knows how strong we are even if we don’t feel it at the time of testing. I also believe we can bring problems and obstacles on ourselves. Yesterday I came to a crossroad. I stood at the bottom of the biggest mountain I have ever seen. A literal mountain, not a “life’s trial mountain”, but an enormous mound of rock and trees that looked like it coul...

I am a beach girl. I love everything about the ocean that I get to experience. I love jumping the waves and swimming, I love riding the waves on a boogey board, I love that my skin gets sticky with dried salt; it feels like nature’s exfoliant. I love lying on the sand and feeling the sun warm my body while I am listening to the waves crash against the shore. I love the smell of the salty air, but my favorite thing about being next to the ocean is how close it makes me feel to God. To stand next to something so much bigger than myself and marvel in its glory leads me to a place of peace. I am in the mountains. We are on our family vacation in Gatlinburg, Tennessee. My husband won the coin toss. I wanted to go to Florida, he wanted to go to the mountains; he won.  So here we are.  I will never admit to him that he was right and that I would love it.  That wouldn’t be any fun for the two of us. Instead I will  make snide and sarcastic comments about how he is trying ...

     It is early morning, my favorite time of day. I’ve sunk into my oversized leather sofa with my laptop on my lap and my coffee on the table next to me. My boxer, Molly, completely unaware that I have entered the room, sleeps on her overpriced dog bed just a few feet away and is snoring like a 300lb man. Molly is almost eight and she like my 80 year old grandmother doesn’t “do” mornings. My two year old puggle Francisco is already outside. He is the most energetic dog I have ever owned. He is like that squirrel from the movie “Over the Hedge” you know the one where he is moving so fast it looks like the world is going by in slow motion. That is Francisco, so full of energy, he looks like a wild Cheetah running around our backyard, never stopping to rest and determined he is going to catch something.  I secretly wish I had that kind of energy. Alas, I am like Molly and my grandmother, slowing sipping my coffee and carefully stretching my sleepy muscles so I don’t ...

I don’t know if I would call myself one of the lucky ones or if I would say I am one of the blessed ones. I really don’t believe in “luck” so to speak, but I always ask the Lord why did I make it through, why did I beat the disease, how come I don’t have to take medication.  When I take a hard look into my past and the depression that use to haunt me, I remember feeling like I wanted to take my life.  I couldn’t imagine living another second and forget another day. I felt like no one understood me, no one cared about me and that everyone in my life would truly be better off if I was gone.  I couldn’t see their pain beyond my own.  That is one thing depression does. It puts you in a box with just your thoughts and there you sit feeling like there is no way out. You feel like you are suffocating under the pressure of your own existence, because you are taking up unwanted space.  I am sure there are different degrees of depression just like there are different d...

Matthew 7:24-27 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. 26 But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. 27 The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” The first thing this scripture reminds me of is the children’s song, “The Wise Man Built His House Upon the Rock”, I’m singing it in my head now, it is a catchy little tune. You're singing it now too aren't you? Haha! The second thing this scripture makes me think about are the storms we go through in life. After all of my years reading and studying the bible, I have yet to find a scripture that says once you accept Christ as yo...

I read another bloggers blog today and ouch! It was about being a perfectionist. I always thought that I struggled with OCD because I like things to be a certain way.  Even though 90% of the time if you come to my house for a surprise visit you will find laundry unfolded on the dining room table, my kids shoes all over the floor, the stairs cluttered with things that need to be taken up, but get passed by 100 times a day, and dishes in the sink from the previous days culinary activities. I still like things a certain way. My canisters have to be in order from largest to smallest starting from left to right. The pillows on my bed have to be placed ever so carefully to make the bed look perfectly made, when it gets made. When I clean, I deep clean. That is probably why I don’t do it every week, it is to exhausting.  But something this blogger said struck me deep down in the pit of my stomach. I got that achy convicted feeling. She said she had become aware that other people’s p...

I have been serving the Lord for over 17 years now and my life is blessed. God has been my best friend and He has taught me so much. Every day I get up and think to myself, Ok Lord, what are we going to do today. What will you teach me today? This morning while out walking, I saw not one but two red headed woodpeckers. The sound of the pounding wood was so loud I thought it was the nail guns of the construction workers building the new house behind me. I looked up into a tall pine tree that is deeply rooted in the creek beside our house and saw them, two of God’s creations. They were at the same level on either side of the tree, each one pecking away. I just stood in awe at these two magnificent creatures working relentlessly on the job at hand. I smiled and walked away and thanked God for this glimpse into His creation. As I continued on my walk I kept thinking about the woodpeckers and how their work was steady. I thought about the end result, did they find bugs to eat, or to feed t...

I have been keeping a journal for years and far be it for me to keep my increasingly witty wisdom to myself any longer. Here are 10 thoughts I have to share about my every day encounters with all kinds of different people and of course myself! 1.  Housewife, stay at home mom, domestic entrepreneur, stop feeling like you have to defend the soap opera bon bon theory.   If you do sit around all day in a messy house, watching soaps and eating bon bons, watching your kids play and your hubby is okay with it, then that is all that matters. It’s your life, live it don’t defend it.      2.  Working moms, stop feeling like you have to defend why you went back to work, and didn’t choose to be a stay at home mom. We are all different. If your family is happy with your choice, then you be happy with your choice. God made us all different and thank goodness, how boring would it be if we were all the same or if there were only men in the work force…sheesh! ...