Don't Give Up

Alright... alright! I know I said I was done with the "Dating Chronicle" blogs .... And I was (because I'm in my engaged era) ... lol - but then I saw this post on social media and it said this - "If you wanted me to speak more highly of you then perhaps you should have treated me better... You don't get to narrate MY story of MY experiences with you."  And this quote resonated throughout my entire being like a resounding gong! I felt every word of that statement run through my veins. It awakened something deep down inside of me that I can't explain. I have purposely chosen not to write about some of my horrible experiences because I was asked not to... by at least 4 different men.  And... now that I'm in a clearer state of mind, it makes perfect sense. Of course they asked me not to write about them... because they treated me like crap! Yet - even as I write this - I hear God whispering to my heart, "What would Jesus do?" Hmmmm... He...

It's been 4 years and 11 months since my now ex-husband walked out on our 20 year marriage. If you have followed this blog since before that then you know how unexpected it was. If you started following this blog during my Dating Chronicles Series you may be thinking, girl - get over it, it was almost 5 years ago. Here is the thing... I have moved on and at the same time the ripples in the pond are still rippling. I am engaged, I am writing new chapters to my story and I am finding my way back to the straight and narrow path I abandoned when my world fell apart 5 years ago. I have been on quite the detour these last several years. It feels like every time I overcome some post divorce battle another one appears out of nowhere. Healing is a process and I believe how quickly we heal strongly comes from decisions we make during the process. There are days that life feels really unfair. There were decisions made for me that I was too weak and depressed to fight.  Then there were decisio...

After being married for 20 years, getting divorced, entering in and out of the dating world for the last 4 years and meeting so many different people along this journey... I have to confess - My curiosity has gotten the better of me. I've heard this question over and over again and I just need to know! Is - "What do you bring to the table?"  currently a first date, second date or third date conversation? Like do you really interview your potential match with this question?  I was young when I got married and we both brought the same thing to the table. Nothing. Unless you count similar upbringings, equal morals and values. Financially we had nothing. No real estate, no stocks, no 401K... Nothing! However I am well aware that dating now versus 25 years ago is completely different. I am constantly being reminded by those around me of my ancient way of thinking. So - in order to further educate myself and bring my caveman thoughts up to the 21st century, I decided to bring ...

I love writing. I love sharing my thoughts and my beliefs with others. I love the idea that my pain isn't being wasted... that all of the things I've gone through can some how be used for the glory of God. That my experiences will help encourage someone else along their journey. I love public speaking. It is exhilarating for me to stand before a crowd and verbally share all of the messes God has gotten me out of throughout my walk with Him - And to equally share the blessings that have come simply from giving my life to Him.  He's saved me from death, He's saved me from other's attempts at sabotage, He's saved me from dangerous situations and so much more.  I was suicidal and He kept me alive. I was poor and He fed me. I was rich and He humbled me. I was scared and He gave me peace. I was lonely and He comforted me. I was unhealthy and He healed me. When I say I love sharing the goodness of God.... I mean I LOVE it! If you have followed this blog for any amount ...

Are you an eternal optimist? I am. So much so... I've been told that it's annoying... I can't help it though - I'm a hopeless romantic, glass always full, you can do it, don't give up kind of woman.  This blessed personality is a curse as much as it is a gift. The blessing is obvious. I see the good in people. I see the diamond in the rough. I see what can be instead of what is. I wear rose colored glasses and rarely take them off. God loves us and all things work together for our good according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28) This is my motto and how I do life. The curse. You can't change others and make them put on the rose colored glasses. You can't help those that don't want to help themselves. You can't make others see the good in themselves that you see in them and you certainly can't convince them that their behavior is destructive and harmful to themselves and others.  This has been one of the hardest things for me to learn. As someone that...

Inhale... exhale.... inhale.... exhale - This is the current theme of my life. I'm taking it d ay by day and breath by breath. It's been long enough since my divorce, that I probably shouldn't reference it anymore... however there is not a set time on trauma recovery. I have healed (mostly), my ex and I are in a good place, my kids are doing amazing and I'm moving forward with my life. The most difficult thing that I face now - is myself. When I look in the mirror, I see the demons that I've allowed to speak to me for the last almost 4 years, and they are ugly. They say ugly things, try to get me to do ugly things - and - full transparency, some days they win. Throughout this long unexpected journey, I'd like to say, I did not lose my faith but I did take a path that went completely opposite of the one God had laid out so perfectly for me. As my story continues I am finding that the winding roads of what has felt like a never ending detour are leading me back t...