Broken People
My pastor used to sing a song, “I Want to Spend My Life Mending Broken People”. He has since gone home to be with the Lord, but I can still see his sparkly blue eyes fill up with tears when he would lift his hands toward heaven and worship God with this song. He sang it from the depths of his soul. He meant every word and he lived every word. I know this - because I was one of those broken people.
I was 18, suffering from severe depression and totally lost. If you know my story… then you know… if you don’t - here’s a brief summary. I made a deal with my grandmother that I would meet with her pastor, I went to her church, met him, he poured the word of God into me, loved me without judgment and after I opened my heart to the truth of the bible, God completely healed my depression - then - I took up the ministry mantle. I wanted to be like my pastor and share God’s Word to heal broken people. For 20 years, I did. The last 2 years I did not. I had to work on my own healing all over again.
2 years ago my husband of 20 years left me. It cracked the very foundation I had spent the last 20 years building. I questioned everything. I took a life detour. I left the church (not God, there is a difference) and I began a new journey that included some extremely intense soul searching. I made more mistakes than I care to confess and I sinned on purpose more than I had the last 20 years combined. (In my own eyes anyway.) I think we all have a different opinion of sin. For me it’s this: James 4:17 So whoever knows the right thing to do and fails to do it, for him it is sin.
During this process I have learned some very important things and I have experienced a deeper level of God’s word than ever before. One thing that I’ve learned is that everyone is fighting a battle on the inside that causes them to feel insecure at times and extremely vulnerable. I have also learned that money, status and success do not keep you from experiencing extreme hurt. I have learned that humans are extremely judgy and cruel at times. I have also learned that God has placed angels on earth (just like my pastor) to love those broken people and restore their faith in humanity. Not all humans are mean… just the ones that are probably hurt and broken themselves.
God has shown me over and over again throughout my entire life that His love is righteous and pure towards me. He has shown me His patience and kindness while I’ve been on this hiatus and not once has He made me feel guilty for taking a detour. Humans have - but not God.
I share all of this because I recently met some very broken people. They reminded me of myself 20 plus years ago and once again while on this detour. I found myself wanting to help them but I knew I couldn’t, not to the level that they needed. (We can all do something to help lighten someone’s load, but we need to know our boundaries.) A fire ignited inside of me when I was reminded that I may not be the one to help them but that I know the One who can. Jesus.
Romans 8:31-39
New Living Translation
Nothing Can Separate Us from God’s Love
31 What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? 32 Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? 33 Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. 34 Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.
35 Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? 36 (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”[a]) 37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[b] neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
If you have read any of my blogs (other than the Dating Chronicles…lol) than you know my anthem is this: You were created on purpose for a purpose and you are loved far more than you could ever imagine.
I thought I knew God’s love. I spent over two decades reading, studying, preaching and living His word… but I tell ya what… it wasn’t until I experienced being broken as an adult that I really understood the power that abides in His love. I know my family was concerned that depression would come back and consume me after my husband left me. But you know what… it didn’t. When God heals… He heals. I even wrote a book about His love and healing. Link is below.
I don’t know who is reading this - but I know I felt lead to write it. You are loved.
When we make a conscious decision to let go of the hurt, the anger, the bitterness, the control, the worry… we make room for love, joy, peace and happiness. It seems odd that to know one we must experience the other. I can’t speak for all… but I can speak for myself. I’m grateful to be able to feel all the feels. I’m grateful that I felt loss… because that meant I had real love and beyond the journey of brokenness… great love waits for me again.
Until then… I want to spend my life mending broken people.
Be blessed my precious readers and remember… You Are Loved
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