Taking Jesus to the Bar

Are you asking yourself, "Did I read that right"? Did this "Christian" blogger just say she's taking Jesus to the bar? Yep! You did.

I took Jesus with me to the bar and the results were... well... let's just say - unexpected. Honestly, I'm not sure what I was expecting... or that I was expecting anything. Nevertheless - just like always - God showed up!

I think I should paint the picture for you first... just so you know this isn't a blasphemous post or a condemning post or any of the things that could come across as sacrilegious. It's simply an experience that touched my heart in a time when I needed it most.

Time to paint that picture. At the same time as the craziness of COVID hit the world, my 20 year marriage dissolved in front of me. During this time, I sought out new adventures to keep me busy and distracted. Some would say this was heading out to play in the devil's playground. They would be correct. But let's be real - the earth is the devil's playground. Not gonna debate this at the moment - or go into theology - proceed to read if you wish.

Let's continue. I took my mind off of the things of God and focused all of my attention on making my flesh feel better. Not that my focus was completely selfish - God was and is in my heart. I couldn't kick Him out if I tried - but He was not my focus during this season. My focus became two-fold - protecting my kid's hearts - and not growing bitter or angry with my ex. 

It took every ounce of Jesus that was in me to accomplish such an extraordinary feat... but I did it - I had to. And I mean it took every ounce, every last drop, the well was getting dry, my bible's falling apart... ounce of Jesus living in me - but I did it! 

I didn't allow those bitter or angry feelings to take root in my heart. Oh I felt 'em - but they didn't take up residence. 

Let's continue... My distractions included falling in love with hiking, camping, all things outdoors and then one day my BFF invited me to trivia night at the local bowling alley. I had never done trivia... except this one time, it was a board game, it was awful, my ex was fantastic at it - I was not. I digress. This was different - I went and I loved it!

Fast forward a few months later - Tuesday night trivia became a weekly thing. Masked and loaded with useless knowledge that somehow became useful as my BFF and I continued to try to find ways to not think about the pandemic, the fact she and I were both getting divorces and we were alone (or maybe just lonely). As restrictions lifted, outdoor music started to come back to the bowling alley, (which I had no idea was actually a local hook up spot or night club pre-covid) and it became our weekly destination. There were at most 20 of us hanging out on the outdoor patio enjoying live music and what felt like some sense of normalcy. 

Fast forward again to masks off, full bands back inside with dancing and hundreds of people. Not my element, not my thing, not familiar at all. However, week after week, I found myself gravitating there to meet up with my new friends, that I have grown to love dearly and listening to music that I love equally as much. 

Now that you have a bit of a visual as to how this once on fire, bible thumping overly enthusiastic evangelist innocently ended up at the "bar" every week - let me tell you about taking Jesus there with me. I'm pretty sure, in reality, He was there all along but I wasn't looking for Him - so I wasn't in tune with His presence.

As the healing in my heart started to become more evident to me I found myself yearning for things from my past life - pre-divorce. (Yes, I am officially divorced.) I missed encouraging people, I missed sharing God's love and sharing my testimony and as I would drive myself up to what I had always deemed to be the local bowling alley, now night club/bar - my thoughts wandered to - can both exist? Can the Amy that loves to minister also be the Amy that hangs out at a night club on Friday nights listening to music with friends and enjoying an occasional cocktail? 

I'll be honest with you... I don't know. I'm still praying about it. However - the following single experience has significantly played a role in answering this question. 

One night, I met a new lady friend, and she asked what I did for a living. I always find this a difficult question to answer because I wear so many hats and simple answers don't seem to satisfy me or the one asking. My short answer for the past year has been Jewelry Consultant for Jared the Galleria of Jewelry. This particular night - that answer didn't seem to pass the test of the question. As I felt the Spirit of God move through me I began to tell her everything. My longwinded self summed up 20 plus years in 20 minutes. The ministry, the book, the movie, the divorce, the jewelry store, the people, the mistakes, the blessings - all of it. It poured out of me like a waterfall over the side of an abyss. It just kept coming and I wasn't sure I could stop.

I finally took a beat and as I exhaled slowly and let out a loud sigh, I saw her standing there, tears rolling down her face and completely silent. She reached out to hug me... and in that moment I felt an old familiar spark ignite inside of me. She stared me directly in the eyes and through her tears said "You are here for a reason, a purpose... I needed you tonight, I needed this moment, just look around - these people need you. Please don't leave. God can use you here. He is using you here." I hugged her again and said thank you. We shared another cry... and turned around to listen to the music. My thoughts wandered and I knew Jesus was there with me... and He had been... all along.

I left that night feeling content with the current status of my life. I really don't know where I'm headed... what God is doing or what my future holds - but I know this - wherever I am - God is with me and if I'm open to letting Him use me - He will. After all if He could use a donkey to speak to Paul on the road to Damascus, He can certainly use me... and maybe... just maybe... I'm on my own Damascus Road. 

Maybe you feel stuck in your current life too... and you have no clue where you are going, what you are supposed to be doing and why you can't shake the feeling that you are here for a greater purpose. If that sounds like you... I want to encourage you in this - You are not alone. God is with you. He is always with you. He will go to the depths of Hell and fight for you - in fact - He did. Don't let the opinions of others dictate to you how you should live your life. I've been condemned, scolded and rebuked... and you know what?? It sucks! But - I also know that if I had not gone through what I went through I would have never met some of the most amazing people that I've met - and met them - at the bar - with Jesus living inside of me. I am and always will be a firm believer in that everything happens for a reason. 

I know there will come a day when the fog will be completely lifted and my path will be clear again... but until then - I'll take Jesus to the bar.

Photo by Maurício Mascaro from Pexels