Faith Test
As I sit here and contemplate all of the changes that are happening in my life right now I find myself reflecting on all of the things that have taken up my time over the years. How did I get here? What have I accomplished? What will my future hold? Am I going to be okay? And in the midst of a sob, a heartfelt cry out to God, to hold me and never let me go, He whispers, “You have always been in the palm of my hand and I will never let you go.” Then, an unexpected call comes in from a friend inviting me to serve breakfast to the homeless. I wipe the tears from my face, take a deep breath, and thank God for my overwhelming mess. There is always someone out there, a little more overwhelmed, a little or a lot more worse off, and struggling a bit more than we are. Does this mean we can’t cry and sit on the pity pot for a bit? No. We just can’t stay there.
Change is never easy, especially when that change is taking us out of a comfort zone that we have been in for a very long period of time. I feel like I have just gotten settled and because of forces beyond my control my life is taking an unexpected change. There have been seasons of change in my life where I have embraced the newness. I excitedly awaited what was around the corner, but now I find myself fearfully lurking in the hallway, not wanting to take another step for fear that the hallway is a dead end, a door to a black hole, or worse something else beyond my control.
I have always declared myself to be a strong woman of faith. I find myself in new territory, where my faith, for the first time in a very long time, is shaken. My faith in people. My faith in my friends and family. My faith in those that supposedly have my best interest at heart. I feel like I have misplaced my faith. I have. My faith should be in God and God alone. This is a new lesson for me. People, family and friends have let me down before, but never to this caliber. Not everyone everywhere at once. It is overwhelming to say the least.
My favorite scripture, Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” , will rise to the occasion once again. My faith in God is strong, but it needs to be stronger. I didn’t realize until now, in this difficult season of life, that I had been looking to others to help me. Others cannot help us. Others are busy with their own problems, their own trials and tribulations; and even though we have been called to help one another, that help still comes from the Lord. He is the one that speaks to the hearts of man and moves mountains on our behalf.
So, in an effort to encourage myself in the Lord, I asked myself these questions. Do I believe God is in control? Yes. Do I believe He holds tomorrow? Yes. Do I believe all things work together for the good of those that love Him and are called according to His purpose? Yes. Do I believe He loves me? Yes.
If I can answer yes to all of these questions and more then I am in a pretty good place. I do not have to like this season of life to endure it. I do not have to be happy while I am going through it, but I can maintain my joy because the joy of the Lord is my strength. I can cry and still have peace. I can have thoughts of doubt while exercising my faith. I can still move mountains it might just take a different blueprint. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. My help comes from the Lord. And if I have learned anything over the years, it is this; the storm may shake me, but it will never break me!
Change is never easy, especially when that change is taking us out of a comfort zone that we have been in for a very long period of time. I feel like I have just gotten settled and because of forces beyond my control my life is taking an unexpected change. There have been seasons of change in my life where I have embraced the newness. I excitedly awaited what was around the corner, but now I find myself fearfully lurking in the hallway, not wanting to take another step for fear that the hallway is a dead end, a door to a black hole, or worse something else beyond my control.
I have always declared myself to be a strong woman of faith. I find myself in new territory, where my faith, for the first time in a very long time, is shaken. My faith in people. My faith in my friends and family. My faith in those that supposedly have my best interest at heart. I feel like I have misplaced my faith. I have. My faith should be in God and God alone. This is a new lesson for me. People, family and friends have let me down before, but never to this caliber. Not everyone everywhere at once. It is overwhelming to say the least.
My favorite scripture, Philippians 4:13, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” , will rise to the occasion once again. My faith in God is strong, but it needs to be stronger. I didn’t realize until now, in this difficult season of life, that I had been looking to others to help me. Others cannot help us. Others are busy with their own problems, their own trials and tribulations; and even though we have been called to help one another, that help still comes from the Lord. He is the one that speaks to the hearts of man and moves mountains on our behalf.
So, in an effort to encourage myself in the Lord, I asked myself these questions. Do I believe God is in control? Yes. Do I believe He holds tomorrow? Yes. Do I believe all things work together for the good of those that love Him and are called according to His purpose? Yes. Do I believe He loves me? Yes.
If I can answer yes to all of these questions and more then I am in a pretty good place. I do not have to like this season of life to endure it. I do not have to be happy while I am going through it, but I can maintain my joy because the joy of the Lord is my strength. I can cry and still have peace. I can have thoughts of doubt while exercising my faith. I can still move mountains it might just take a different blueprint. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. My help comes from the Lord. And if I have learned anything over the years, it is this; the storm may shake me, but it will never break me!
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