Where Did My Balance Go?

Balance used to be my favorite word. I use to live by that word. Everything, well almost everything, in my life was balanced. I spent time with my family, I spent time with my friends, I had some me time and I worked. I kept a very nice calendar of all of my activities and it kept me straight. I still have the calendar, but my hubby upgraded us to the family Google calendar that my two teenage sons also have access to, and now my life is crazy. It’s like if it gets put on the calendar it is acceptable. I have not only lost my balance, my side of the teeter totter is stuck on the ground. It’s so heavy I’m looking at my hubby and three kids on the other end and all of them together can’t get me back up and going. I have gone through busy seasons in my life before, hence, the need for balance, but this go round I’m ramped up and in over drive.

I went through a super busy season a few months ago where I was combining some tasks and that was working well but now that is falling apart. I feel like I’m swimming in a sea full of beautiful sea creatures, they are swimming freely around me, but I have bricks tied to my ankles and I can barely keep my head above water. Have you ever felt like that before? Like you are just so busy you can barely breathe? I am so close to choking, that I see myself stealing my grandma’s inhaler. (she lives with me, it would be easy to do)

Alas, what do we do? Well, I don’t know about you, but I pray. I pray and I pray and I pray and I don’t give up until I’ve got an answer to my prayer. Although sometimes God makes us (me) go through that whole “be still and know that I am God” thing before He gives us (me) the answer that we so desire from Him. Well….I didn’t have to wait too long this time. Time Management! Oh yeah, He spoke it loud and clear. Maybe He even yelled it all the way from heaven, enough so, that I can’t even look at my calendar without feeling unorganized and chaotic.

I HATE those words “time management”. I HATE them. Oh I know you, totally organized types, with your little to do list and the time slots and your little check marks, feeling so accomplished at the end of the day with everything on your list complete and sleeping so restfully, only to awake the next morning ready to start your new list, encouraged from your many accomplishments from the day before. Well, I don’t like you either. Just Kidding. If the truth be known, I am jealous of you. There, I said it. I will not say it again.

The struggle is real folks. Time management is a problem for me. It could be because my daily tasks have begun to outnumber the hours in the day, or the more likely reason, is that, I do have more to do now that my ministry has grown, God is opening new doors, my kids are getting older and therefore their social lives are more than just a playdate at the park once in awhile. It could be that so many wonderful things are happening, but my dirty little secret of being unorganized is finally catching up with me. Or it could be that I had balance before and I did have some sort of a time management thing going on for me, I like to call it, organized chaos, but now that just won’t work, because of the new, cool things God is doing. I use to hate change, now I love it, because through change, I see all of the cool stuff God is doing in my life and the lives of those around me.

So back to my teeter totter theory. When we reach a point of balance there will always be the fact that the stuff on the other end is going to change. We have to be able to adjust to that change in order to keep balance in our life. Maybe a balancing scale would have been a more  appropriate analogy, since a teeter totter is fun when it is going up and down, up and down,...LOL...well, I didn't, so use your imagination.

The true fact of it is, I have poor time management skills, I have always been able to fake it until I make it, but now there is more at stake. God has opened some pretty incredible doors for me recently and if I want to give Him the absolute best of me, because He deserves nothing less, I am going to have to work on some self-improvement, in the area of………….(gritting my teeth and breathing heavily) “time management”. Ugh...woo...that is a tough one.

And while I’m being completely truthful, I do want to be better at it, because I don’t like being unorganized and rushing around all the time to fit in the important things, like family. More truth is, it isn’t the end result, it is the process that I hate. It will take more dirty words to get me there, like, discipline (just disgusting), change (getting better with it), flexibility (belongs at the gym).

However, through this process, I have comfort in knowing that I am not alone. God will walk me through this process as I begin to seek Him more and more on the subject. It also brings me comfort to know that I am not the only one that struggles with something like this. I know you guys struggle with your own self-improvement things too. Maybe you are like me and time management is your vice, or maybe it’s pride, or you don’t trust anyone, or maybe you are lazy….it could be anything, but know this, you are not alone. God will help you through it.

Here are some steps to help you through the process.

1. Recognize you have a problem.
2. Name that problem.
3. Write it down and then throw it in the trash. (Symbolizing you giving it to God)
4. Pray.
5. Find scriptures about the issue. (This may take some research, but I promise it’s covered.)
6. Apply those scriptures to your life.
7. Ask others to pray for you in this specific area.
8. Encourage yourself by speaking life (scriptures) over yourself.
9. Keep a journal of your progress. (only victories go here)
10. Enjoy your new mountaintop.

You pray for me and I’ll be praying for you. Mastering these obstacles in our life can be daunting but it is so worth it in the long run. I am already looking forward to the victory that is mine in this area. Because not only will I be able to check off my own list, but I will be spending my time wisely and that is what God tells us to do in His word. Amen and God Bless.

Ephesians 5:15-16 Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise, 16 making the best use of the time, because the days are evil.