You Are Not Defeated

Let me just be straight up with you. I had what felt like a week from hell. If it could go wrong it went wrong and before I could address the first thing that went wrong the next thing was happening that was going wrong and so this incredible hellacious ripple effect took place throughout the week and left me feeling weak, defeated and just plain wanting to run away somewhere tropical. I feel like moving some place tropical every day, but this time it was for real! Looking back I realize it wasn’t as bad as it felt but it surely seemed that way because I let the devil steal my peace and joy. Well, since we are being honest here, he stole my joy but I think I handed my peace right on over and probably my self-control and while I’m confessing I think I gave him the whole flipping fruit basket. But God, oh but God, I am happy to report that after I came to myself (in the Lord) I marched right back into the enemy’s camp and I took back what he stole from me AND what I willfully handed over. I gave him a couple of black eyes and did what he hates more than anything, I PREACHED and gave God all the glory for saving me once again.

I had gone out of town for a few days with some dear friends and their spouses for some much needed R&R and when I returned home I was walking in total peace. I was refreshed and relaxed and in a mindset that I could conquer the world. I woke up early Monday morning eager to conquer the day so I headed to the kitchen to pour my favorite beverage, coffee. What waited for me in the kitchen was a demonic spirit that had somehow crept into my house while my hubby and I were out of town. I must spare the details to protect the innocent but let’s just say this evil spirit used someone I dearly love to rip me a new one. I was completely caught off guard and left feeling like I had received a knife to the gut. Before I could fully recover from this attack another one came and another and another and they continued throughout the entire week and from all different directions.

In the midst of all of these attacks, I found out my sweet almost 11 year old boxer, Molly, has cancer. I then found out my feisty puggle, Francisco, has a tumor in his mouth. Francisco is treatable, Molly is not. Still the blows kept coming. I felt like the wind had been knocked out of me. I spent several days in bed crying under the covers refusing to come out and adult. The weight from all that was happening was too much to bear. I felt like what I was going through before I found out my puppies were sick was enough, but to add this news on top of everything else left me feeling breathless, exhausted, depressed and defeated. I missed bible study Wednesday night and came close to quitting my job as Associate Pastor. I am telling you I was in a rough place. I had not felt that way in a long time and I don’t care to feel that way ever again.

I was in the midst of spiritual warfare. I recognized what it was, but I was weak.  I was praying, I was reading my bible, but the devil didn’t care. I rebuked him out loud in the name of Jesus but he came back. How is this possible? Let me remind you of Job. Now, I can’t say I went through all of what he went through, but I know at some level I can relate to the desperate anguish Job must have felt throughout his battle. What Job and I also have in common is that we never quit God. Job didn’t understand it, he didn’t like it, but he trusted God. I cried out to the Lord, deliver me, save me, make it go away. I cried what am I supposed to do. Then Thursday morning like a light that kills all the darkness I heard God speak to me, “You are not defeated”. It was a calm still voice. It was strong and firm yet soft and gentle. It resonated in my spirit and I heard it again and again and again. “You are not defeated”. I prayed and meditated on those words all day. I began to feel stronger. I began to feel victorious even though none of my circumstances had changed. It was God fighting my battle for me. I did not give up. I continued to speak the Word of God even though I was under the covers and hiding. Slowly I emerged from the enclosed camp of my bed and stood to my feet. I yelled “I am not defeated!” I yelled, “Satan you are a liar, Jesus won the fight on the cross, I am covered by the blood and you can’t cross the bloodline!” I demanded that he leave my home in the name of Jesus. And you know what, he left. Oh I know he is waiting for the door to open and for a way to creep back in. The bible says he roams around seeking whom he may devour, but I’ve got news for him, he won’t devour this chick. I am sold out for Christ and I will serve the Lord until the day I die.

What happened, what changed? How did I let Christ fight my battle? How did I feel stronger in the midst of my unchanging circumstances? God spoke to me. While I was feeling depressed and down I was still seeking the Lord. I also took time to listen for His guidance. When He spoke, I listened. He also sent back up. A sister in Christ came to visit me that day and she said something that really stuck. She reminded me of the calling God has on my life. She reminded me of all the responsibility I had and that Satan was trying to distract me from them. He had. He had kept me from being able to effectively minister for almost an entire week. When I heard her speak such truth I got angry. Have you ever been angry? Yes! Right! Well you know when you get angry you get this supernatural strength that makes you feel like you can lift cars? I had that kind of righteous anger. I remembered Jesus turning over tables in the temple and you know how heavy those tables were back then? Everything was solid, not the cheap stuff we have today. His anger gave him strength. I needed to take this supernatural strength and do something good with it. I needed to give Satan a black eye and send him back to hell.

(Sidebar) A lot of times when we get angry we take that energy and we do the wrong thing with it. We make bad choices, say hurtful words, take harmful actions towards others. God says to be angry but sin not. This is where our self-control comes in. Be angry and sin not. The energy is so strong we know we have to do something with it because we can’t contain it, but we must be careful what we do with it. This is where I made a conscious decision to use it to beat up the devil not those that I love that the devil was using to hurt me.

I was determined to show the devil that he did not have me in his clutches anymore and that I was standing on my faith in the One who defeated him on the cross. I needed to do something big for God. I did. Our church women’s ministry meets every other week for “Coffee Talk”. During this time, we pray for each other, we do crafts, we encourage, we share whatever we are lead to do for that particular week. I head this group up and since we did not have anything specific planned for that week I took the opportunity to bring a Word of Life to the Ladies. I spoke on the fact that we are not defeated. I shared my testimony and then I took it a step further and shared it with Facebook Live. I received a lot of positive feedback from the message and I tell you what I feel victorious. I prayed that whoever heard that message would allow it to become contagious and that they would share it with others and so forth. I pray that all who hear it or read this will be reminded we are not defeated, but the devil is.

“We are NOT defeated”. Christ defeated Satan when he died on the Cross and rose again 3 days later.  It is our job to walk in that victory. Storms, trials, tribulations and circumstances beyond our control will come, but we have been given the tools to fight them and withstand them by applying God’s Word to our life.

I endured. I may have some battle scars, but I am proud of them. I fought hard and when I became fully aware that I was not fighting flesh and blood but against principalities and the darkness of this world, I put on my spiritual armor and beat the crap out of the devil. It felt amazing. I have been walking in peace ever since. God reminded me that I had been praying for more Holy boldness and after last week, I believe I have it. He also reminded me that every time I go through one of these battles, He takes me to new heights in Him. That is one height I am not afraid of.

I want to encourage you today to fight. Don’t let the devil steal anything from you. God says He has a good plan for your life. He says to seek Him, and let Him lead the way. If you are trying to make your own path and things are going crazy, then you need to get out of the driver seat and let Jesus take the wheel. We don’t always understand why things happen when they do or the way they do but we can acknowledge that there is One who does. His ways are not our ways, but we can trust that His Word is truth and that He will work all things out for our good, when we trust and believe. I choose to trust and believe even when I don’t understand. To date most of my circumstances have not changed but my mindset has. I am trusting the Lord and walking in victory. You can too!