Dating Chronicles: Mr. Taylor Swift

If you've heard a Taylor Swift song, are a single woman and are honest with yourself... then you can most definitely relate to Taylor's tell it like it is lyrics. I am one of those honest women...

I remember when I first separated... I didn't tell anyone outside of my immediate family and my bestie. I was feeling embarrassed, ashamed, hurt and not ready to talk about the split. Lots of processes to go through after a tragedy... and one lie we tell ourselves - we have to keep up appearances. We don't - but we feel like we do... Anyway, I digress -  One Thursday night my unknowing work crew invited me out for some drinks after we closed. I accepted.

We went to a local hang out to play some pool. On this particular night, it was Karaoke night. One of my co-workers, a fun loving, beautiful 20 something also happens to be a phenomenal singer... She and her Selena Gomez voice invited me to come sing Taylor Swift's "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together", on stage with her. Oh the irony - I giggled to myself, finished my beer, first beer I had probably had in over 20 years (truth), threw every momentary insecurity I had out the window, jumped on stage, grabbed the mic like a Rockstar - (knowing I would totally lip sync because I'm tone deaf...haha) - smiled, flipped my hair and for 3 min and 11 seconds I was a goddess...

When we came down off of the stage I quickly realized my other co-workers had recorded the whole performance. Still feeling the confidence of the afterglow I thought it would be a great idea to send that video to my ex.  I probably downed another round of liquid courage... Okay, I'm sure I did - And with the tap of my finger, I hit send. Yep... I sure did... I sent that American Idol audition with the confidence of Inigo Montoya facing the 6 finger man. (If you get that reference we can be friends.) It was a drunk text moment... my first and my last (well maybe). Praise the Lord for redemption, mercy and grace! If you haven't been there... stop reading - we can't be friends...

Sooooo other than mildly humiliating myself that night, something else happened. I know - you are thinking - honey... didn't you go home? Please don't tell me you drove by his house, banged on the door and played "In Your Eyes" from a boombox.  Rest easy my friends... it was a fleeting thought... lol... What actually happened that night was way better - I fell in love with Taylor Swift and her lyrics. 

Like I said earlier... if you are a single woman... you can probably relate. My whole perspective of this woman's music changed as I started to date again. I hadn't been able to relate to her music before now, except for "Our Song", I mean everyone loves that one... lol  But now I'm thinking - Girl... we could be BFFs... cause I feel you... I mean dating again has had its fun moments, but it has also left me feeling like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.  If you've read "Dating Chronicles" then you know... I mean I tried to find the humor in most of them... but dating is exhausting and at the end of the day... you just want a glass of wine, a Taylor Swift song and a bubble bath... 

I need to interject for a brief moment... I have found someone... more on that and him later... lol... but reminiscing has not only made me grateful for the man I have in my life now but has also shown me I'm glad I waited for what I wanted instead of settling for what I didn't want just so I wouldn't be alone. I'm 44... I have earned the right to be picky and so have you!!! Don't let anyone tell you different. 

Back to Taylor... I remember listening to her songs and literally thinking... that was Mr. Farter, that was Mr. High School, that was Mr. That Don't Impress Me Much, that was Mr. I Shaved My Legs for This... and the list goes on. I can promise you... if we went on a date, then you have your name beside a Taylor Swift song. 

Going from being married for 20 years and then single again in an instant really changes you. I seriously reverted back to my teenage years for a season. And after multiple conversations with men and women in the same situation... I have found this to be the normal - which made me feel so much better because I felt so abnormal. What we are going through is hard enough... but couple that with trying to get back out there and date again on top of it all leaves you feeling defeated most of the time.  

So if you're like I was... finding yourself in unchartered territory being single again but refusing to give up... roll the windows down, turn up the Taylor Swift and sing like a Rockstar - because you are! You will find that special person... I truly believe it! I have... 

If you need a starter play list... here's mine... and Yes... every song co-insides with a date... haha  Happy listening and Don't Give Up

My Playlist:

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

Style

ME!

Blank Space

Mean

Tim McGraw

Picture to Burn

Bad Blood

Wildest Dreams

I Knew You Were Trouble

22

Back to December