What Does Not Giving Up Look Like?
Have you ever seen a scene from a movie or television show where the villain reaches into the chest of the victim and rips their heart out with their bare hands (or claws) and then squeezes it so hard the blood dramatically drips through their grasp and causes a reaction in you - the viewer - that reminds you of something you've experienced in real life? If you're squeamish, please forgive the visual - but I felt it necessary to try to convey the depths of my pain before explaining - my refusal to give up.
Maybe the need to put it so theatrically is the actress in me... or maybe it's just the blunt truth - the days following my separation that would lead to my divorce felt just like the details above - my heart was unexpectedly ripped out of my chest and was squeezed harder than anything I can imagine - while the previous 20 plus years ran down his fingertips and created a puddle of forgotten memories on the ground.
The following months were a mix of blessings, bad decisions, an almost guaranteed lapse in sanity, more blessings, more bad decisions - making a feature film (say what?) and finding myself - the person God created me to be (still working on this part). To say it was a roller coaster ride is an understatement. But somehow through it all - I absolutely refused to give up!
If you follow my social media pages - then you will see lots of pics from last year that include hiking, camping, movie making, spending time with my BFF, family and friends. Some call this the highlight reel - I call it life. The better parts of my life - but still life. There was an occasional blog post on the behind the scenes of what I was dealing with but most importantly to me - was the good stuff. The stuff I wanted to focus on. The positive - the love of family - the support of friends - falling in love with new adventures - filming a movie with the incredible Super Man himself - Dean Cain! To me - that is what not giving up looks like. Stubbornly focusing on the positive - in the midst of tragedy.
I'm not going to say it's always easy to focus on the positive. There have definitely been days when no matter how hard I tried I couldn't find anything positive to focus on... but then my babies faces would pop into my mind and I knew that no matter what - I had them... and them was all I needed to smile. They are alive, healthy, kind beautiful and my everything. And even if I didn't want to get out of bed for me - I knew I had to get out of bed for them. Those may be the days that my only accomplishment was getting out of bed... but I'll focus on that one small victory and in that one small victory I can say, "I got out of bed today" and it encourages my Spirit so much more than making a laundry list of everything that isn't going right. I know it sounds so simple - and yet it is so complicated. Choosing to focus on the positive while the world around you seems to be falling apart. It's a tested theory though - and it works. That glass isn't half empty - it's half full. That banana isn't rotten - it's just right for banana bread. LOL - my house isn't messy - it's lived in (okay - that's a stretch...haha) - but you get the point - I hope. Whatever positive you can pull from something - pull it!
I know not everyone's story is the same. I know not everyone has healthy children or even children for that matter. I know that for some finding something positive to focus on seems like an impossible feat... but cling to this in those moments - God says that you are made in His image, you were created on purpose for a purpose, there isn't anything that can separate you from His love. Jesus died for "YOU" - His love is that strong that He chose YOU and Loves YOU and died for YOU and YOU are why He sits at the right hand of His father and intercedes for YOU - daily - hourly - moment by moment - in ways we can't even begin to comprehend nor will ever be able to comprehend. All we have to do is believe it.
Soap box rant over - take it or leave it - that is the incredible thing about free will. It isn't forced.
My version of not giving up may not look like your version of not giving up... and that's okay. But for me it's choosing to get up every day and focusing on the positive. I refuse to give those negative thoughts any power over me... but when I find myself going there I recognize that I am blessed with a tribe of equally stubborn friends and family that are quick to remind me that quitting isn't an option. I strongly recommend surrounding yourself with people that love you, inspire you, are kind to you, make you feel good about yourself, see your worth (even when you can't) and will go to battle with you. It's better to have 1 person like this in your life than 100 that would let you sink before telling you how awesome you are.
My life has changed dramatically over the past year but my purpose has not. It is simple. I am an encourager. I love to see others succeed and live their best life. God's called me to share my valleys and mountains with others in hopes of encouraging them to never give up. Some days it's hard to be so raw and exposed... but when you know the calling on your life - you also know it comes with a price and you also know that God wouldn't call you to it - if He wasn't going to see you through it.
So my encouragement to you today is this: Whatever you do - Don't Give Up! Every day is a gift and we are never promised tomorrow. Refusing to give up doesn't mean you need to do extra special every day - you ARE the extra special in every day. You are the only you created to live the life you are living. There will be good days, bad days, extremely difficult days, extraordinarily beautiful days, sunny days, cloudy days, days where you stay in bed and days where you make the bed. But every day is a gift and if you just make that one small change in your mindset - then you are on your way - to not giving up. Baby steps my friends... baby steps. 1,000 mile journey starts with just one step. You got this - I promise!
Comments
Post a Comment