100 Bad Days = 100 Good Stories
Have you heard the song 100 Bad Days by AJR? Our family has a collaborative playlist on Spotify and one of my sons added this song to it. A year ago I would have rolled my eyes and removed it...but after this past year...I embraced it. It kind of reminded me of my 2020. There were so many bad days intertwined with good days, however, those bad days sure have made some interesting stories.
These are stories that I'm sure most of us have experienced - but in all honesty we are probably too embarrassed to talk about. What I am not ashamed to talk about is God's unconditional love... even on my worst days.
I received a letter in the mail today from a family member that I don’t talk to very often. We keep in touch via Facebook but that’s about it. It is impossible for them to know the depths of my soul and the inner workings of my mind. Only God has access there. This letter was as if they did. They spoke to my heart in a way that only occurs when I open the Word of God or have spent silent moments in His presence. Reading this letter was mind blowing to say the least.
Scripture after scripture poured off the page penetrating my heart to the core. I sat silent...absorbing it’s content in disbelief. How did they know exactly what my soul was craving? How was it possible that they hand-wrote a letter, put it in the mail from hundreds of miles away - only for it to arrive right at the exact moment I needed it the most? That - my dear reader - is exactly how the timing of God works!
Let me explain. I had been beating myself up for some of the bad days I experienced in 2020. Don’t get me wrong...a lot of good came out of last year for me… but there were definitely some moments I’d like to redo. That’s where my mind drifted to that song. Those bad days really ended up resulting in some interesting stories. Some I would even say were funny - depending on what side of the bible belt you're from that is. I say that only because I already know the judgement that will come from sharing - if I ever decide to share them...which if you know me at all...you know I will! Even though we aren’t supposed to care what others think - we do. People like to look past, God will use it for good, and just condemn you for the mistakes you made. Sigh...that's life. But I believe without a doubt… it all happened for a reason. And to be completely honest - some of it - I should regret - but I don’t. And I sincerely believe God is using all of it for His glory. You can’t have a testimony without a test! This precious letter reminded me of the truth in that statement.
This letter reminded me how much I am loved...not only by God, but by my family and friends. The scriptures breathed life back into these dry bones and renewed my Spirit to want to get back to praying for others and encouraging those that are feeling as hopeless as I once did. It reminded me that regardless of all my mistakes, God is still with me. God forgives me… I just need to forgive myself and get back to doing what I was called to do - Encouraging others! So I'm taking those 100 bad days and I'm going to turn them into 100 sharable testimonies!
The enemy of our soul thrives off of convincing us we are washed up...done...can’t get it back...can’t go on! He’s a liar. We can and we must...for the sake of advancing the Kingdom of God. It isn’t about us...it’s never been about us. It’s about Him. And - while it is about Him - He did say He wants us to enjoy our life! He’s good like that.
It’s been almost a year since my husband left. So with the anniversary of our separation pending I was meditating on everything that came out of 2020 - the good, the bad, the ugly, the funny, the stories I have yet to share. As I was flipping through my journal I found an entry where my mom had told me something that I felt was important enough to write down. It was. In January of 2020 before everything happened she said to me, “God spoke to my Spirit and said we are about to come full circle.” Of course at that time I thought it was all about the ministry. We had poured so much into it for so many years I thought we were about to reap what we had sewn. Haha! Never try to figure out what God is about to do. It just doesn’t work that way.
As I read that letter this morning I realized I have come full circle. It was an important life reset. Some major construction needed to be done on the path that I was headed down. For starters, I needed to learn to be more compassionate, less judgy, more patient, more kind, more understanding, more relatable and I needed to reconnect with some lost loves...like nature - and so much more. Most importantly I learned God's love is absolutely unconditional.
Sometimes it’s important to take the detour. The detour is there to keep us safe from work that is being done on a road that is impassable. When we take the detour we get to see and experience things we may have missed out on because we get so caught up in the comfort of the known path. When the construction is complete on the original path we can then safely return to it. The detour may have been a pain… but it was necessary for our safety. I think God re-opened the road for me today. The detour took me full circle and I have some amazing stories to share. I’m standing here staring at it- contemplating it - holding my breath - anxiously awaiting the updates. What will the new - old road look like? I don’t know...but I'm ready to find out!
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