I Quit

Have you ever uttered the words “I quit”, when dealing with your kids, or maybe yelled at them and screamed at them to the top of your lungs like I did the other day!?! I do believe the Holy Ghost left me for a split second while I went on a screaming rant, that had anyone other than my children heard me, I would have been cuffed, stuffed and headed straight to lock down, thrown in a padded room, probably wearing a straight jacket and given some sedatives. And now that I am seeing that written down, it doesn’t sound quite so bad. I could use a timeout. A nice quiet room, a little something to calm my nerves, no one around to make demands and throw fits when they don’t get their way. Now, don’t get me wrong, I am not making light of this, or of those that really do need that treatment, but I am telling you, I was mad, stark raving mad!

All I want is for my kids to clean their room. That’s it. It is only something I have been asking of them since they were 3. Pick up your toys and put them in the toy box. Put your dirty laundry in the hamper. Put your dirty dishes in the sink. The toilet paper goes in the toilet and then you flush it. You can’t save it for later. Ugh!!!! Now my kids are 15, 13 and 9. I do believe, since I have been teaching them, working with them and showing them how to do these tasks since they were 3, they should not need me to hold their hand while doing it now. However I am a record on repeat...make your bed, put your clothes away, throw the trash in the trash can, don’t eat in your room, put your dirty dishes in the sink. These tasks do not require much effort nor a degree from Harvard. They clearly were able to do it when they were 3. What is the deal? Why do I have to go ballistic to get my point across now?

I am not downing my kids, just the fact that they are messy, don’t listen and need for me to turn into She-Hulk for them to take me seriously about doing their chores. Other than that, they are kind, polite, helpful, and they love God. They get praised everywhere we go and that makes me smile with the utmost pride. Some days, I would like to be the one praising them, at home, for how well they listened….and CLEANED THEIR FREAKING ROOM! Ahhhh….that is better. Why are they so darn messy? I feel like all I do is laundry and dishes. I can’t even get to the vacuuming (thank God for my Roomba) because I am never caught up or even close to caught up with my laundry. I wash, dry, fold and ask them to put it away. Well, sometimes it makes it to the drawers and sometimes only to the bed, where the cats find it and lay all over it and get cat hair all over it and then I have to wash it again.

I have tried making them do their own laundry. I have taken the phone, the computer, the tablet, the ……. You name it! Same old...same old. So I QUIT. I took the entire week off. I told them not to ask for a thing. I said, “I love you, I will feed you, and your bed will be warm.” This was after I screamed so loud the dogs ran and hid.  I told them not to ask for a ride, for clean clothes, for anything extra. And you know what. They don’t care. My daughter, in her defense, has cleaned her room. My boys have not. I could not even get within a foot of their doors today. The stench, burned my nostrils. I …...do……..not……..know…….. what has died or started growing in there, but I can tell you this, I will not find out. When they get home from school, I will hand them cleaning supplies in exchange for their phones and tell them, when they are done, they can have them back. Yes, I know I said I had taken their phones, but I gave them back for school. We will deal with my being a helicopter mother later.

I really do feel like I’m going nuts sometimes. Not politically correct. Who cares! I have something from the Walking Dead growing in my house. Talk about politically correct. The smell...oh God...the smell. How do they stand it? Why does this happen? Will it go away before they move out? Will they continue to live like this when they leave home? This is in no way a reflection of how they are being raised. Am I alone? Has anyone else ever just quit. Just thrown your hands in the air like ya just don’t care and screamed “I quit!!!”?

I did! I totally did. I dared them to ask me for anything that did not pertain to their immediate survival. The looks on their faces said it all. But my question is, why? Why do I have to get that mad to even get a reaction out of them? I don’t know. I don’t care. I quit.

So in conclusion, just so no one is concerned for the well being of my children and so that you do not call social services on me, I had my coming to Jesus moment, and I did not really quit. Well I kind of did...I did not offer my services for carpooling, no friends came over, no extra treats in their lunches, no special dinners this week...I kept them alive and told them I loved them every day. Hey, that is still a fruitful week.

I put up my “Mommy is praying” sign and went into my War Room. Spiritual Warfare is real ya’ll and Satan will use dirty laundry if he has to. I prayed and prayed and prayed some more. I did not pray for change in my kids, I did not pray for patience (because it was already being tested) and I did not pray for peace. I prayed for wisdom. God reminded me that Jesus could have called 10,000 angels and He could have denied the cross but He didn’t. He chose to endure it for the love of His children. So powerful and it really puts it into perspective. So, I choose to endure the stench, the mess, the disrespect of my requests and the mis-communications, because I love my children. I will never really quit and I will never give up on them and I will continue encouraging them to be the best they can be, because Jesus has never given up on me….but I will totally take a time out or two or 10 and get my Holy Ghost fill on so no one gets hurt during the process!  Back to the trenches! -I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me!