Super Mom

Where did the idea of a perfect mom come from? I mean seriously, where did this imaginary woman that lives in my brain come from? You know the one I am talking about, right? The one with five kids, but still has the perfect body. The mom you see in the store wearing her gym clothes and buying a cart full of stuff with her coupon binder in hand, because she is an extreme couponer. Then you run into her later at the craft store buying all of the odds and ends she will use to hand make her Christmas decorations while you stand there trying to figure out whether to buy a glue stick or a hot glue gun - and by the way - who came up with the word glue gun?  While she is there she will also pick up the materials she needs to sew her daughters elaborate angel costume for the church Christmas play. Did I mention she is CEO of her company and puts in 50 plus hours a week at her job? She always has her hair and nails done and she dresses like a runway model when she is not in her gym clothes. She is sweet, kind, pretty; she teaches Sunday School and is simply adored by all. She has a garden in the summer and cans tomatoes.  She makes all of her meals from scratch and fast food is a bad word unless it is PTA night at Chick Fil A. She is all over social media and has a multitude of followers on Pinterest. She is organized and her house is always clean and tidy.  She recycles, she volunteers at her child's school and she still has time for date night with her husband. Ugh! She drives me crazy! Who does she think she is? 

I used to hate this women. For real. No filter. Then I discovered something.

This woman does not exist! She DOES NOT exist! She is a figment of our imagination and she was created in our own minds out of our own insecurities. Why do we do this to ourselves?

I know you are just as shocked as I was when I found out. You thought for sure it was your neighbor or the lady you sit next to in church on Sunday mornings. The real mind blower is that it is not that mom with the nice bod you run into at Target every Friday morning. Nope. That nice bod may or may not be genetics or maybe she does go to the gym...but that does not mean she is this imaginary woman we created in our minds.  

We take one characteristic from every mother we have ever met or seen on television and create this Super Mom.  Why do we do this to ourselves? As women we are always comparing ourselves to other women; the way we look, dress, act, what job we have or don’t have, how we parent, to spank or not to spank, time out for them or us, home school or public school and the list goes on and on.  We second guess ourselves and then we look to this imaginary airbrushed mom on the cover of People to tell us what to do and what kind of mom to be. We must stop the madness.   

I had this revelation the other day - it came immediately after I realized this woman was seriously a figment of my imagination. I realized that the reality is most moms are trying their best to do what is best for their children. There are always exceptions, but I’m talking general population here ladies.  We come in all shapes, sizes, colors, smells and sounds. We love our kids with our whole heart. I have strengths as well as weaknesses and I am learning that it is okay.  I can give a great hug and bake some killer chocolate chip cookies. Give me a sewing machine and I will end up in the emergency room.  I can preach or speak in front of hundreds of people without skipping a beat, but I cannot help my kids with their math homework. I have joined many different gyms and weight loss programs over the years and I am still a size sassy. I can grow tomatoes but I do not know the first thing about canning them nor do I care to learn.  The fact is if we stop comparing ourselves to everyone else and thank God for the unique gifts He has given to us then maybe we can actually help one another and work together in love and in life. We need to start encouraging all mothers and sprinkle them with kindness.

Some of you may be thinking about that “perfect” Proverbs woman in Proverbs 31. Aren’t we supposed to model ourselves after her and doesn't she sound a bit like the imaginary mom I described? Isn’t she darn near perfect? Well, here is what I have to say about that lady. She is a woman with many gifts and talents. She uses her gifts and talents to run her household to the best of her abilities and with love. She respects her husband and teaches her children well. Yes, we should model our lives after her but does that mean that we are to go plant a field and be in business and make our children’s clothes and get up before the sun rises every day? Not if you don’t have a green thumb and are called to home school your children and work a night job. She is there to encourage us to be the best versions of ourselves that we can be. To take care of our families with the gifts and strengths that God has given us. 

I challenge you to think about your gifts, your talents and your strengths. Is it really the end of the world if you have to buy a pack of cookies instead of making them from scratch? Is it really going to make a difference in a 30 minute Christmas play whether or not you bought or sewed the costume? Does it really matter that you are a size sassy or a size flirty if your kids know you love them? No. You are you. Fearfully and wonderfully made you! As long as we are trying to be the best we can be with the gifts and talents God has given us then we are the Super Moms in our kid's lives. 

Do I get annoyed that my laundry and dishes pile up because I spend more time studying the bible and working on my book during the day more than I do housework? Yep. I do.  They eventually get done. Just not the way I imagined this 'other' mom does it. They aren't my priority. I fit them in when the more important things get done. You might be reading this and having a mild panic attack. It's okay. I have friends that can't stand a dirty dish in the sink. It's okay. You do you and I'll do me and we'll love each other anyway. 

I'll even put off a day of house cleaning to take my kids to the park or bowling or to get ice cream. I can hear some of your gasps...lol..it's really okay. You can't eat off my floor but it's clean enough for your bottom to sit on it. I call it balance. Haha!

I realized the other day that I am a Super Mom.  I am not the Super Mom my subconscious created from all of my insecurities. I am the Super Mom that my kids see every time, I hug and kiss them and tell them I love them.  I am Super Mom when I go to their school concerts and recitals. I am Super Mom when I feed them their favorite food and when I mess up royally and tell them I am sorry. I am Super Mom when I watch a movie with them that they got to pick out. I am Super Mom when I give them candy and gum and let them stay up late.  I don’t have to be PTA President, coach of the basketball team, Room Mom, school photographer, Betty Crocker, Martha Stewart or winner of the most creative Elf on the Shelf shenanigan. They think I’m pretty super the way I am.  They know that I love them and that I will stop whatever task I'm doing when they need me to because they know they come first. 

I have a coffee mug that was given to me a long time ago. It says, “One hundred years from now, it will not matter, what kind of car I drove, what my bank account was, what kind of house I lived in, but the world may be different because I was important in the life of a child”.  My child. 

To wrap this up, I am not cracking on the Martha Stewart types, the super fit gym suit wearing moms, working moms, stay at home moms or anyone else who may have gotten their feathers ruffled. I think you are all very wonderful. I think that our uniqueness should be celebrated and encouraged. I believe we are all fearfully and wonderfully made and that media and airbrushed models on the cover of magazines are partly to blame for our insecurities. I want to encourage you to focus on your strengths and not your weaknesses as a woman and as a mom.  Then encourage your fellow moms and lady friends in their strengths.  It is hard being a woman today and we all need some extra encouraging. God Bless you Super Mom!

Proverbs 31:28 Her children arise up and call her blessed...