I Have a Reason to Sing

The last few weeks have been challenging. My husband got sick with Strep Throat and he was your typical sick male for a few days.  Right after he started to feel better my daughter started with symptoms of Strep and after two trips to the doctor it was confirmed she too had caught the nasty sicky bugs. Then as soon as she started to feel better my husband got sick again. My boys who are the vicious little carriers of Strep also have immune systems more battle proof then Super Man and are thankfully healthy.  I am caught in limbo. As a mother and a wife I am not allowed to get sick. I am allowed to not feel well, as long as I can still work and clean house and cook and do laundry and wash dishes and pack lunches and run errands and everything else I do on a daily basis. I have been plotting and I think I am going to make up some really awful sounding virus that there is no cure for but staying in bed for a few days in a dark quiet room where I cannot be in contact with any other human beings and I have to have my meals left by the door. Heck I would even fast for those days if it meant I got some peace and quiet and rest. Ha-ha!

While my husband and daughter were playing catch with Strep my grandmother whom lives with me fell very ill. We took her to the emergency room and she has now been in the hospital for six days. I am exhausted beyond exhausted.  My daily diet is consisting of coffee and more coffee. I have developed amnesia and I think I washed my hair with flea and tick shampoo and I washed my dog with Pantene.  He sure does smell good though.

 While I was driving yesterday I took advantage of the alone time and I talked with the Lord.  I did not ask why all of this was happening, but I asked how am I still functioning? At least for appearance sake I seem to be functioning. How am I still well and not sick? How have I gotten through these last few weeks without collapsing?  I mean seriously, I think I have dozed off three times while typing this and I keep having to re-read it to see what I am writing about.  In the midst of all of the sicky bugs and trips back and forth to the hospital I have been dealing with other issues too. I don’t know if you have read my previous blogs, but modern conveniences like my washing machine, my computer, my van and my guest bathroom have all decided to develop multiple personality disorder and only work when they feel like they should.  This has added extra stress to my already stressful days. Trying to hunt for a different vehicle, a new washing machine, and playing Russian Roulette with my computer have been the icing on the cake. Why do people say that? Icing is good. I think I will say, the straw that broke the camel’s back. That sounds more like it.

The Lord interrupted my ADHD thought train and spoke to my heart. He said because “When you are weak, I am strong”. I had one of those aha moments! It was not by my might, but by the grace of God I was still functioning on a  couple of cylinders.  I am not a martyr by any means. I have called on family to take shifts at the hospital and I even broke down and paid someone to clean my house.  I have delegated everything I can, but there truly is just some stuff that only I can do. But God…Oh but God! He is so good and so faithful when we call on His name.  When I look back over the last few weeks and see how His mighty hands have carried me and my family; I think about the song that I have woke up to every morning playing in my head on repeat.

            

           In all my life, in every season, you are still God

 I have a reason to sing. I have a reason to Worship!

We all have a reason to worship. I know that life is not fair. I hear people ask all the time, why; followed by whatever tragedy they are going through at that moment.  I have not found a scripture yet that says, you will never have trouble, problems or hard times. But over and over again, I see comforting words that say; I will never leave you, I will always be with you, I will help you, guide you, comfort you, love you, I will give you peace and I will protect you. Who would not want to worship or sing praises to someone that promises us all of that and so much more?  I think we should stop asking why and start saying thank you God for not leaving me while I am going through this hard time in my life. 

I don’t understand why bad things happen to good people. I don’t understand why some people get sick and some don’t. I don’t understand why two families going through the exact same situation end up  with two completely different results. There is so much in this world that is bad and I cannot even begin to comprehend it all. However, I do know this, God is still God and if we call on Him in whatever we are going through, He is faithful to answer. We just have to listen.