Don't Give Up

When I say to you God is my everything, I am not tickling your ears with some beautiful compliment for my Creator. I literally mean He is my everything. When I say I understand what you are going through and I’ve been there, I am not just trying to empathize with you, although I do; I truly mean I’ve been there. I’ve battled depression, fought suicidal thoughts, I’ve been abused, I’ve been sexually assaulted, I’ve dealt with addiction in all forms, I’ve been betrayed and used. I’ve been lied to by those closest to me and put in situations where I was forced to take sides and resented being put there. I’ve been stolen from and I’ve even had family spread terrible rumors about me. I’ve had health issues, marital issues, parental issues...Issues about issues...I’ve been there. Is it weird that even though these people have hurt me to the depth of my core that I still feel a need to protect them? It is an odd place I find myself. Do you ever feel like that? Like you want to share your

As I sit here and contemplate all of the changes that are happening in my life right now I find myself reflecting on all of the things that have taken up my time over the years. How did I get here?

I'm going to write this now. Now when the creditors are knocking at the door. Now when the mess in my house is beyond my comprehension of how to fix. Now when every vehicle and boat is in need of work. Now when the legal issues are growing in a bad way instead of a good way. Now when I feel guilty when I wake up in the morning and realize that – on the surface – we look like bad Christians – not holding to our word in our finances – not looking like a family that is put together and has good strategies that work handling our kids and our situations. I am sick and tired of seeing people who live in million dollar mansions; who have good established marriages and families; who have overcome addictions and tragedies in their past and right now are doing well; I am sick and tired of those people telling me that God is going to do good things in my life – and all that I have to do is believe. Yeah, I am sure they have gone through some rough times. I do not know their lives and