Self Care: Are You Ready for Change

I am on a new path and I am hoping and praying that this path will intersect with the old path I was on several years ago and I will eventually be right back where God wants me to be. And maybe I am where I am supposed to be but honestly I don’t feel like it. I know what I’ve done and what I should have done and for that I am paying a dear price. However, I also believe everything happens for a reason even if we don’t understand that reason and I also believe that God doesn’t waste our hurt. Let’s just pause for a moment and let that comment sink in. God doesn’t waste our hurt. The bible says every tear we’ve ever shed is bottled up in heaven. Our tears are precious to God and anything we’ve gone through, no matter how excruciating, God will use for good, if we allow it. That is the hard part. Are we willing?

I believe if we focus on the positive then it’s easier to see the positive. The same goes for the negative. I don’t know about you but I don’t have time to waste on being negative. There is too much work left to do in the Kingdom of God and a lot of work left to do in me and through me. I am ready for a change!

When God lead me to the scripture about loving myself, I was in the midst of falling down a dark hole. This past year has been full of blessings but there have been some devastations too. I understand that is life and I have been an adult long enough to know life isn’t always roses and sunshine. However, there was a time I lived in a season of blessing. For many years I was able to see the blessing even in the midst of great tribulations. With the strength of God and multiple prayer warriors by my side, Satan didn’t stand a chance.

I remember a time when I first started in ministry and my now ex and I were struggling to pay our bills. I would pray, Lord, you placed me here, you called me to this, and you said you’d meet my needs… I need to pay these bills. Then a miraculous check would just show up in the mail. This happened often.

I remember another time when I took a group of ladies from our church on a women’s retreat. Several of us rode in my minivan and more followed. After leaving the first session of our conference my van wouldn’t start. We sat there for a very long time trying to get it to start. Then I said, well, I believe God wanted us to attend this conference and now I believe Satan is trying to steal our joy. Let’s pray. (I know, it should have been the first thing we did…lol) We all laid hands on my van, dabbed a little anointing oil on her hood and BOOM, she started right up! I’m telling you, Satan didn’t have a chance!

This is where I am headed. Faith that can move mountains! Get behind me devil, I’ve got work to do for the Lord! But just like every new season brings change in the weather, new seasons of life don’t come without some change. I don’t know about you but when the weather changes my allergies give me a fit until my body adjusts. So… just like in nature, I know, change isn’t going to be without some inconveniences, maybe even some pains, but it is a process we must endure to get through to the next season of life. 

To remain the same means to stay stagnant and we know stagnant water is ugly to look at, smells really bad and is probably toxic if consumed. I don’t want to be stagnant. Do you?

 

I started the year off in prayer and fasting and with a new year approaching I am certainly planning to do it again. This year has been one of great growth and I am so blessed by the love of our Lord and Saviour. Even though I served in all areas of ministry for over 20 years I feel like I am starting over again. So ever so gently, I have cautiously moved myself towards that path again.

How does any of this relate to self care? I’m glad you asked. During my prayer time God brought to my attention that I was going about this all wrong. You’ve heard the saying, you can’t pour from an empty cup.Well, I was focusing more on others and their needs above my own. This is what happened to me years ago when I was in full time ministry. It happened to several other ministers that I know as well. It’s called ministry burn out. Over time I realized that I was feeling tired, sad and withdrawn. I needed to take a step back and figure out what was going on.

This is where self care comes into play. God lead me to the scripture Matthew 22:39 “Love others as you love yourself…”. A magnificent light sparked and I instinctively knew I had to start loving myself. I wrote about this in the first blog, “Are You Loving Yourself”. And as I started seeking God on how to love myself, He lead me to this book Pathway to Purpose. This book has been life changing and I’m only 3 chapters in. The author takes us on a healing journey and then a step by step guide on finding our purpose in God. I have cried, laughed, felt joy, confirmation and I have truly felt that reading this book is exactly what I’m supposed to be doing to help me learn to love myself again.

I realized I have had a lot of unhealed hurt in my life and I need to make time to sit with it and allow God to heal it so I can move forward towards the plan He has for my life.

This path hasn’t been easy. I’ve had to let go of a lot. Letting go for me is not the easiest thing to do. I am stubborn by fleshly nature and will hold onto something until it is way dead, just hoping and believing God will bring it back to life. Relationships, dreams, hopes… you name it, I will believe God for its resurrection…lol… But sometimes God is just saying “let it go”. This has probably been the hardest change for me. I have always been an extrovert, a people person… but when those people suck the life out of you, it is time for a change… and don’t you dare feel guilty about cutting people out of your life that do not add value, encouragement, love or respect to you. Boundaries are biblical. You can absolutely love from a distance!

Imagine you are under water and you found this treasure chest. It’s full of shiny things that you think are valuable. You are trying to hold onto it while swimming to the surface but it’s just to heavy. To get to where you are going, you have to let go of the chest. If you don’t, you will drown. What is more important? Holding onto something you think is valuable or trusting God to lead you to what He knows is valuable? 

In order to truly love yourself, you have to make some changes in your life. This will look different for all of us. For me, it’s putting boundaries in place to protect to myself. It also means changing my schedule up a little bit so I have time to read God’s Word, journal, exercise, eat healthier and write… something I have really missed is writing. I have a movie script that I’ve been working on that I haven’t touched in 8 months! It should be done by now. Ugh!!!

Little by little I’m making healthy changes in my life to take better care of myself. A few things I’ve incorporated into my self care schedule are having morning coffee dates with God. No phone, no distractions. I get my coffee, my devotional, my book and my journal. I sit down and spend at least an hour with God. This helps get my day started off on the right foot. Next, like I mentioned in my first blog, I have this amazing smelling body butter my daughter gave me for my birthday. I take time to nourish my skin after my shower. It smells so yummy and feels so good going on.  And - an old habit revisited, I am drinking 84oz of water a day. I have a 42oz tumbler that I fill twice a day. 

Small changes, big changes, healthy changes… Change is necessary in self care. What changes are you making in your life so that you can take better care of yourself? Don’t put off til tomorrow what you can do today. There is no better time to start taking care of yourself than right now.

Blessings,

Amy